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DVD & Blu-Ray Menu (Disc 1, Warner Home Video)
(Fades in to light blue background, Emmet's Hercules logo is shown, Emmet pops up closer)
Me: Will you listen to him? He's behind the scene looks sound like some greek tragedy.
Sid: (Offscreen) Lighten up. (Thuds) I'm okay!
Me: Oh, We'll take it from here, Sid. (disappear) Alley-oop!
("Ice Ice Baby" plays repeatedly, as Emmet dances)
(After the menu looping ends, Emmet stops dancing)
Me: Oh, you played the movie? Okay then! (He pulling down to the scene of black screen)
Vanity Karess: (Smoking in the cigarette)
After going back to Menu
Vanity Karess: (Throw the cigarette away on the ground, to the audience) This I like. (Blow kisses to the audience)
Farmer Me: (rocking an chair back in forth at the cabin house, sleeping)
DVD & Blu-Ray Menu (Disc 2, 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment)
Distribution Movie (Skit intro)
(Distribution movie starts with black screen)
Me: (Narrating, with text) According to the distribution movie of Emmet's Hercules with Blue Sky Studios, there is an 3D style of The Peanuts Movie, Ice Age, Despicable Me and every animation movies should be able to watch. It's things are superhero to get it's minions run off the screen. The movie, of course, doing it does the distributed anyway. Because the movie don't care what creatures think is impossible to do so, Once if you know what is? Here's that I do. A big problems. Please have a watch.
(Then the logo starts with Twentieth Century Fox and Blue Sky Studios)
Blue Sky Studios logo
Me: What? Hey, J-Just slow down a little bit! Slow down! I gonna grab it! (grunts) Woah! That is NOT cool!
(Movie starts with Warner Bros Pictures and Warner Animation Group logos, which means in Distributed movie version of Twentieth Century Fox and Blue Sky Studios logo)
(The camera opens in on a museum hallway featuring Greek statues and vases)
Narrator: Long ago, in the faraway land of ancient Greece, there was a golden age of powerful gods and extraordinary heroes. And the greatest and strongest of all these heroes was the mighty Hercules.
(A Greek vase is shown with a picture of Hercules fighting a monster. Vase zooms in slowly)
Narrator: But what is the measure of a true hero? Ah, that is what our story is-
Me: (Narrated, angrily) Wait, wait, wait, Hold on a second! (He begins to rewinding the movie and then The screen goes black.) You did even to do with that! Like, Ancient Greece, there was a golden ages of powerful gods and then the extraordinary heroes? No no no no no no no no, I thought you can do this when we cares! And what's that? (Surprisedly) Oh, it's Hercules! I thought the movie is kinda being stroke. I should making to behind the scene... AHEM! Now, where to begin? How about "A long time ago..."? (He holds up a remote and pauses it, But suddenly, Emmet is in the screen and walks in.) How many times have you heard that to begin a story? Let's do something else. (He gasped) I got it. I got it. Here we go. Here's how to open a movie. (A camera pans to the snowlands.)
Me: Oh, what? (The screen goes black again.) No, I don't think so. It sounds familiar, doesn't it to you? (A storybook.)
Me: Oh, no, no. Not in the book. How many have seen "opening the book" before? Close the book. We're not doing that. Here's what we're gonna do. Why don't I just go back to the day things took a turn for the worst?
(A music plays in "The Gospel Truth" from Hercules.)
Me: Oh, I know! How about Hercules, who subdued and destroyed monsters, bandits, and criminals, was justly famous and renowned for his great courage. His great and glorious reputation was worldwide, and so firmly entrenched that he'll always be remembered. In fact the ancients honored him with his own temples, altars, ceremonies, and priests. But it was his wisdom and great soul that earned those honors; noble blood, physical strength, and political power just aren't good enough! Heh, I thought it wasn't cute.
(Full length song.)
Me: Back when the world was new
The planet Earth was down on its luck
And everywhere gigantic brutes
Called Titans ran amok
Me: (angrily) Oohh! (nervously) I thought it was even good there.
Me: There was a mess wherever you stepped
Where chaos reigned and earthquakes
And volcanoes never slept
Me: Entire life is only efficient days to not for stop!
Me: And then along came Zeus
He hurled his thunderbolt
Locked those suckers in a vault
And on his own stopped chaos in its tracks
And that's the gospel truth!
The guy was too type A to just relax
And that's the world's first dish
Zeus tamed the globe while still in his youth
Though, friend, it may seem imposs'ble
That's the gospel truth!
(A record scratched and Black Hat stops the music, He grinned.)
Me: Mister Black Hat! I thought I saw you!
(Black Hat enters the screen.)
Black Hat: What you've doing here.
Me: I thought it's on the movie, Hercules!
Black Hat: Oh, Hercules?
Me: Yeah, it's Hercules. In 1997, Walt Disney made it for back in year.
Black Hat: Now that's great, So, What are you waiting for? Let's make about to Behind the scenes of Hercules!
(A music resumes, Emmet & Black Hat continues to singing.)
Me & Black Hat: On Mount Olympus life was neat
And smooth as sweet vermouth
Although, buddy, it may seem imposs'ble
That's the gospel truth!
(A song ends, The screen goes black, the title "Hercules" crashes onto the screen, followed by a "Emmet's" which forms the crooked "Emmet's Hercules" logo. Cracks appear across the screen image, and the black screen shatters and falls from the field of view in fragments, leaving view of the Mount Olympus.)
Me: (narrated) Heavens. No no no no no, it's Mount Olympus, a skyland of the clouds. Or, Hercules is still there, And I appeared!
Hera: Hercules! Behave yourself!
Me: (appears) Yeah? Behaving in it.
Zeus: Oh, look at this, look how cute he is... (Zeus babbles at baby Hercules and he catches Zeus by index finger and lifts above his cradle) Hah! Oh, he's strong! Like his Dad, hmm?
Hermes: (moving through a crowd of gods) Whoa! Excuse me! Hot stuff coming through! Excuse me one side, Ares. (Hermes hands Hera a bundle of glowing flowers.)
Me: See baby, see baby, Watch it, dummy, I'm walkin' here!
Hera: Why, Hermes, they're lovely!
Me: Move outta here, I do walking!
Hermes: Yeah, you know, I had Orpheus do the arrangement. Isn't that too nutty? (flying closer to Zeus now) Fabulous party, you know, I haven't seen this much love in a room since Narcissus discovered himself!
Me: Move towards to me, When I can see a baby, Which means I do can't!
(Narcissus is shown, staring into his mirror and making kissing sounds.)
Me: (Disgusted at Narcissus) Yeesh.
(Emmet walks to left, Baby Hercules gets one of Zeus' lightnings and plays with it.)
Hera: Dear, keep those away from the baby.
Zeus: Oh, he won't hurt himself. Let the kid have a little fun!
(Emmet watches to him, Baby Hercules tries to eat the lightning, gets zapped, and throws it away in frustration. Three gods jump away from its path, until Athena hits it with her sword so it hits a pillar, which immediately reappears.)
Zeus: Oh, on behalf of my son, I want to thank you all for your wonderful gifts.
Hera: What about our gift, dear?
Me: (Walks over to Zeus.) That gift? Who's who? A horse?
Zeus: Well, let's see here.. we'll take, hmm, yes, a little cirrus, and, hmm, a touch of nimbostratus, and a dash of cumulus.
Me: (nods) Uhuh.
(Zeus moves his hand with a little pegasus-shaped cloud on it closer to baby Hercules, and the cloud turns out to be a baby pegasus.)
Zeus: His name is Pegasus, and he's all yours, son.
Me: Maybe she does.
(Baby Hercules bonks his forehead against Baby Pegasus'. He whinnies and licks Hercules. They hug, letting all the gods sigh.)
Hera: Mind his head.
Me: Mind her head, too.
Zeus: He's so tiny.
Me: What do I taking in vacation....
(Baby Hercules tries to bite the medallion that hangs from his neck and then yawns.)
Zeus: My boy. My little Hercules.
Me: But I thought---
Hades: (offscreen) How sentimental.
Me: If that should be does about to MONSTROUS things about..... (He gestures to Hades and the camera moves to Hades fast after his voice is heard.) Hades. A horrid man. (Emmet close-ups at the camera.) Suddenly, I care to this monstrous things to that. Something has a little bit tiny. (He goes back.)
Hades: You know, I haven't been this choked up since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat! Huh?
(All gods look sternly at him.)
Hades: So, is this an audience or a mosaic? Hey, how you doin'? Lookin' good. Nice dress.
(The camera cut back to Emmet Brickowski.)
Me: What did I respect these?
Zeus: So Hades, you finally made it. How are things in the Underworld?
Hades (taking Zeus' hand off his shoulder): Well, they're just fine, you know, a little dark, a little gloomy, and as always, hey, full of dead people. What are you gonna do? Ah! There's the little sunspot, little smoochie. And here is a sucker for the little sucker, eh? (he weaves a sucker with skeleton head out of thin mist) Here you go. Ya just-- (Hercules squeezes Hades' finger, and after some fight he gets away from the baby) Sheesh! Uh, powerful little tyke.
Zeus: Come on, Hades, don't be such a stiff, join the celebration!
Hades: Hey, love to, babe, but unlike you gods lounging about up here, I regrettably have a full-time gig You know, by the way, so charitably bestowed on me, Zeus, So.. can't. Love to, but can't.
Zeus: You ought to slow down, you'll work yourself to death... Hah! work yourself to death! (crowd laughing) Oh, I kill myself.
Hades: If only, if only..
Me: Obviously.... (Emmet pauses the movie.) Something has opinion days to having an bad day. Um, What's that? Oh, I get it! If there's one god who don't want to get steamed up, it's Hades, cause he had an evil plan. Sooooo....
Black Hat: So, ever that monstrous who called Hades? Maybe.... A HORRID MAN.
(The scene changes to a boat on the River Styx, in which a skeleton is carrying Hades. Two souls lean up from the lake bed to grab Hades, who zaps them away and blows the smoke off his finger like a pistol.)
Me & Black Hat: (singing) He ran the Underworld, But thought the dead were dull and uncouth. He was as mean as ruthless, And that's the gospel truth.
(A pair of skeletal gates open, and Cerberus' heads snarl and snap their jaws viciously. Hades throws them a piece of steak for the dogs to eat, which the dogs fight over as the boat continues its journey down the river.)
Me: He had a plan to shake things up
Black Hat: And that's the gospel truth!
Me: You know, good singing. (Emmet clicks the remote. Soon, Hades arrives at the dock, with a staircase leading to his lair.)
Pain: (running down the stairs) Coming, your most lugubriousness! (He trips, bounces on the stairs, and lands his butt on a sharp trident, screaming.)
Panic: (running down the stairs) Oh, I'm sorry. (pants wildly) I can handle it! (He runs, but he trips over Pain, who just got free from the trident, falls over, and his horns get stuck in Pain's butt. Pain screams, while Hades rolls his eyes disgustedly.)
Pain: Pain! (groans) Ow!
Panic: And Panic! (grunts)
Pain & Panic: Reporting for--
(Emmet pauses the movie.)
Me: Duty of an match. Or...
(Emmet resumes the movie.)
Pain & Panic: Duty!
Hades: Fine, fine, fine. Just let me know the instant the Fates arrive.
(Pain pulls his friend's horns out of his rump.)
Panic: (delightedly) Oh! They're here! (Pain nods, accordingly.)
Hades: (bursts into flames) WHAT?! The Fates are here, and YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!
Pain and Panic: We are worms! Worthless worms! (They literally shape shift into worms as they sob uncontrollably.)
Hades: Memo to me, memo to me: Maim you after my meeting.
(The scene changes to a chamber with the Fates.)
Atropos: Darling, hold that mortal's thread of life good and tight. (She cuts a thread with scissors and a woman scream is heard.)
(The Fates laugh as a soul enters the cave and flies into a tunnel. The counter above the tunnel now says "Over 5000000001 served")
Hades: Ladies! Hah! I am so sorry that I'm—
Clotho: We knew you would be.
Lachesis: We know everything. (They pass their only eye from one another as they speak the next three lines.)
Atropos: And future. (to Timon as Panic.) Indoor plumbing; it's gonna be big.
Hades: Great. Great. Anyway, see, Ladies, I was at this party, and I lost track of—
Fates: We know!
Hades: (slightly irritated) Yeah. I know.. you know. (He goes over to a map table depicting Greece with pawns of Zeus and the gods.) So, here's the deal. Zeus, Mr. High and Mighty, Mr. "Hey, you, get off of my cloud". Now, he has—
Fates: A bouncing baby brat.
Clotho: (Shrek voice) We do! (normal voice) We know!
Hades: Wait, You changed the voice?
Clotho: (Shrek voice) Onions are like ogres. (normal voice)
Hades: (bursting into flames) I know! (settles down) You know. I know. I got it. I got the concept. So, let me just ask: Is this kid gonna mess up my hostile takeover bid, or what? What do you think?
Clotho: (silences her) Oh no, you don't. We are not supposed to-- (Shrek voice, again) A miserable-- (normal voice) Reveal the future. (A spider lowers out of her nostril, to which she sniffs it back inside.)
Hades: Oh wait, I'm sorry. Time out. Can I? Can I ask you a question, by the way? Are you, (to Lachesis, plucking off one her hair strands), did you cut your hair of something? You look fabulous. (Lachesis giggles) I mean, you look like a fate worse then-- (Emmet voice) Fire than-- (normal voice) Death.
(Lachesis giggles more. Clotho hits her on the head, the eye fells out into the hands of Panic.)
Panic: Oh, gross!
Pain: Yech! It's-- (Timon voice) Hakuna matata! (normal voice) .....blinkin'! (He kicks it into Hades' hand, who pulls off a dust strand from the eye.)
Hades: Ladies, please, my fate... (He puts the eye to Lachesis' hand.) is in your lovely hands.
Lachesis: Oh, yeah.
Clotho: All right.
(The eye raises in the air, showing pictures of the future.)
Atropos: In 18 years precisely, the planets will align ever so nicely.
Hades: Ay, verse. Oy.
Atropos: The time to act will be at hand. Unleash the Titans, your monstrous band.
Hades: Mm-hmm, good, good.
Atropos: Then, the once-proud Zeus will finally fall, and you, Hades, will--
Me: (offscreen) Farting instant onto the toilet. That's pretty noxious.
Hades: What? No no, Say it again, please, Hear it!
Me: Ugh, fine. (He holds the remote, and begins to rewinding the movie and then resumes.)
Atropos: Then, the once-proud Zeus will finally fall, and you, Hades, will rule all!
Hades: (thrilled, bursting into flames) Yes! Hades rules!!!
Atropos: A word of caution to this tale.
Hades: Excuse me?
Atropos: Should Hercules fight, you will fail.
(Fates disappear, cackling.)
Hades: (bursting into flames) WHAAAT?! (cooling down) Okay, fine, fine, I'm cool, I'm fine.
Me: An unhideous rules.
(The camera reveals to Monstrous Black Hat.)
Me: Well, uh... This is the part where you suppose to run away.
Monstrous Black Hat: (growls angrily)
Hades: (got smiled) Oh, I didn't run away. So uh, How's that feel? A monster? I got a one piece of an evil plan to do. I gotta tell Pain and Panic.
Me: Oh, brother.
(Later, a bell dings, and a pair of doors open to show Hades and his boys standing in front of a skeleton-decorated vault with a vial shown in the center.)
Hades: Pain? Panic? Got a little riddle for ya. How do you kill a god?
Pain: I do not... know!
Panic: You can't. They're immortal?
Hades: Bingo! They're immortal. (He takes a vial with red liquid and camera zooms at it, filling the screen) So, first you got to turn the little sunspot--
Me: Hold the phone, Puh-lease.
Hades, Pain and Panic: Huh?
Me: If this is the movie of Hercules..... When I got a remote...
Hades: (bursting into flames) DOGGONE IT BLASTED BANANA!!! (cooling down) It's okay, it's okay, No one get upset.
Me: If this was happens... Or this? By nothing! I do everything in the past!
(Mount Olympus, dusk. The night sky is brought over Mount Olympus by the night god, Nyk, driving his goats across the atmosphere. Baby Hercules and Baby Pegasus are sleeping together. The shadows of Emmet walks over Baby Hercules.)
Me: (whispering) Do I respect what mean is? (gasps) Uh oh, he's coming! (Dives into the clouds, And the shadows of Pain and Panic crawl over Baby Hercules and grab him. The sounds of glass breaking and Pain and Panic tittering make Zeus and Hera wake up.)
Hera: What? What is it?
Both: The Baby! (They run to the cradle but find only the Baby Pegasus)
Hera: Hercules! Oh! (she starts sobbing.)
Zeus: (booming) NOOOOOOO!!!
(As he screams , lightning bolts flash and a giant thunderstorm rages over Olympus. Pain and Panic are flying down to Earth, carrying Baby Hercules.)
Panic: Now, we did it! Zeus is gonna use us for target practice!
Pain: Just hang onto the kid, Panic!
(They fall, and Baby Hercules starts crying.)
Panic: Hurry! Let's just kill the kid and get it over with, okay?
Pain: (opening the vial) Here you go, kid. A little Grecian formula.
Panic: Look at that! He's.. changing. (Baby Hercules stops glowing as he drinks the potion) Can we do it now?
Pain: No, no, no, he has to drink the whole potion! Every last drop.
(Baby Hercules turns into Black Hat.)
Black Hat: You 2 think you're doing there, Stupid? (He grabs Pain and Panic's head.) I thought you can't do that, Because.... (demonically) I WILL BREAK YOU!!!
Pain: Ow, ow, ow, ow!
Panic: Uncle! Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!
Black Hat: SILENCE!!!!!!!
Pain: Oh, we're gonna shut up right now!
Panic: Calm down. We're really sorry.
Black Hat: If you ever come near the baby again....
Pain: Oh this is... this is that kid!?
Panic: Oh, That baby??
Pain: Did you know that?
Panic: No... me? I-I-I didn't know it. No. Did you?
Pain: No! Of course not.
Black Hat: (demonic roars)
Pain: Heh.. not again...
Amphitryon: (offscreen) Who's there? (Pain and Panic run away, Black Hat turns back to Baby Hercules, dropping the empty vial. It breaks and one last drop falls into the ground.) Alcmene, over here.
Alcmene: Oh, you poor thing! Oh, don't cry.
Amphitryon: Is anybody there?
(Pain and Panic look from the bushes.)
Pain: Now. (Their shadows are shown as they walk and transform into snakes.)
Alcmene: Oh well, he must have been abandoned. For so many years we've prayed to the gods to bless us with a child. (Amphitryon reads Hercules' name from a medallion on his neck.) Perhaps, they've answered our prayers.
Amphitryion: Perhaps they have... Hercules?
(Pain and Panic, as snakes, attack, but Baby Hercules catches them, and giggling happily, hits them several times against the ground, ties into a knot and throws far away. Amphitryon and Alcmene stare with they jaws dropped.)
Pain and Panic: Help, help, help! (they turn to their normal forms.)
Panic: Hades is gonna kill us when he finds out what happened.
Pain: You mean, *if* he finds out!
Panic: Of course he's gonna f-- If.. if is good.
(pan to Mount Olympus in dark clouds and then silhouettes and a theater seats appearing.)
Me: Well, uh, You turned into?
Black Hat: Baby Hercules.
Me: You thought that great. Hey, what's the matter where the buddy is???
Black Hat: (silenced)
Me: Well, It was tragic. Zeus led all the gods on a frantic search.
Black Hat: But by the time they found the baby, it was too late.
Me: Wait, you turned into Baby Hercules???
Black Hat: I thought....
Me: I thought my mother can sing....
Betilla: (singing) Young Herc was mortal now, But since he did not drink the last drop. He still retained his godlike strength, So thank his lucky star! But Zeus and Hera wept, Because their son could never come home. They'd have to watch their precious baby, Grow up from afar.
Me, Betilla & Black Hat: (singing) Though Hades' horrid plan, Was hatched before Herc cut his first tooth, The boy grew stronger ev'ry day, And that's the gospel truth!
(Resolve to country with sheeps baaing. The camera pans to Farmer Emmet starts humming of "Old MacDonald Had a Farm", Rocking back and forth on the rocking chair in Farmer Emmet's cabin house. Suddenly, Clark Felicia kicks the door.)
Clark Felicia: GOOD MORNING FOR ANIMAL FARM AND THE CHEAP LOADS OF STUFF! (Happily scream.) HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Farmer Me: Ah, shaddap.
Clark Felicia: ?
Farmer Me: I'm tryin' to sleep, Ayn' y'all should leave. (He fast asleep.)
Clark Felicia: Oh. Gotta go, You got late! (She runs away.)
Farmer Me: Zzzzzzz.. (wakes up) Where did my dog go? Did ever seeing Hercules?
Clark Felicia: Hercules? Maybe, about Zeus!
Farmer Me: No. (sleeps)
Clark Felicia: Hm. Are we there yet?
Farmer Me: No....
(Clark Felicia walks in the road. And then, Felicia sees a carriage.)<br />Clark Felicia: (Gasp) Oh, no.<br />(Clark Felicia runs away, A carriage with a lot of hay moves along the road unnaturally fast, then we see Amphitryon and his horse sitting before it.)<br />Amphitryon: Hercules, slow down!<br />(We now see it's young Hercules who is moving the carriage. Â They enter a country fair, hitting a pair of workers on the top of the gate.)<br />Amphitryon: Look out! (workers fall)<br />Young Hercules: Oops! S-s-sorry guys!<br />Worker 1: (falling down) Hey, watch where you're goin'!<br />Worker 2: Sunday driver!<br />(Hercules enters the middle of the square and stops, burying himself into the ground shoulders-deep.)<br />Amphitryon: Thanks, son. When old Penelope twisted her ankle back there, I thought we were done for.<br />Hercules: No problem, Pop.<br />Amphitryon: Uh, don't-don't-don't unload just yet. First I have to finagle with Phideas.<br />Hercules: Okay. (he drops the hay on the cart which makes their horse, Penelope, fly up into the sky.) Oops, sorry, Penelope.<br />Amphitryon: Now, Hercules, this time, please justâ€”<br />Hercules: I know, I know. (he catches falling Penelope.) Stay by the cart.<br />Amphitryon: That's my boy. (Hercules stays until he sees a man losing balance with a big clay pot.)<br />Man: Oh, my goodness. Whoa! (Hercules catches him just in time.)<br />Hercules: Careful!<br />Man: Why, thank you!<br />Hercules: No problem.<br />Man: (sees Hercules and looks frightened) Why, Hercules! It's you!<br />Hercules: Let me, let me help you with that!<br />Man: No, no, no, no, no, I got it. (He almost falls under the giant pot.) I'm fine, you just run along.<br />Hercules: Are you sure?<br />Man: Oh, yes. Absolutely.<br />Me: Throughout times, Hercules, Throughout times.<br />(He leaves Hercules outside in the street. A freesbee falls to his feet. He picks it up and sees three boys about his age.)<br />Boy 1: Yo! Give it here!<br />Hercules: Hey, you need an extra guy?<br />Boy 1: Uh.. sorry, Herc. We already got.. five. And we want to keep it an even number.<br />Hercules: Hey, wait a second. Five isn't an evenâ€”<br />Boy 1: (snatching the freesbee) See ya, Herc.<br />Boy 2: What a geek!<br />Boy 3: Destructo boy.<br />Boy 1: Maybe we should call him "Jerkules".<br />(Hercules sits alone in the center of a square, Then, Phil Minion walks in.)<br />Phil Minion: Pudum ka kaylay tem banana?<br />Hercules: Not now.<br />Phil Minion: Aw. (He walked away untill the freesbee appears above his head.)<br />Boy 1: Heads up!<br />Hercules: I-I got it!<br />Boy 1: No! Stop! (Hercules hits a pillar, which starts falling.)<br />Hercules: Uh-oh.. Oh no!.. It's okay..<br />(He holds the pillar he has hit, but others start falling one by one, like domino. He sees that and throws the pillar he was holding away, but it hits another standing pillar and another domino wave starts going around the square.)<br />Hercules: Hey! Whoa!<br />Amphitryon: Son!<br />Hercules: Hang on, Pop! Be right back!<br />Phil Minion: HEP!<br />(The two domino waves seem to be aiming at the shop with clay pots.)<br />Man: Oh my! Oh no! Don't! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!<br />(The last two pillars stop above the man's head. He sighs, relaxed. But the Minions comes back to man.)<br />Phil Minion: Ka!<br />(Suddenly, Hercules, who was running to save him, slips and slides to him fast.)<br />Hercules: Watch out!<br />(The town square is now destroyed. Hercules stands in the rubble, feeling ashamed of himself, as the citizens and the minions leave the area.)<br />Boy 1: Nice catch, Jerkules.<br />Amphitryon: Son-<br />Man: This is the last straw, Amphitryon!<br />Voice: That boy is a menace!<br />Voice 2: He's too dangerous to be around normal people!<br />Amphitryon: He didn't mean any harm, he's just a kid. He-he just can't control his strength.<br />Man: I am warning you. You keep that-that-that.. freak away from here!<br />Boy: Freak! Yeah, go away!<br />(The minions booeing.)<br />Tom Minion: Herkales sak!<br />(Cut to the Farmer Emmet's cabin house. Farmer Emmet is got asleep again.)<br />Clark Felicia: Emmet? Farmer Emmet? (He shaked at Farmer Emmet's head.) I know where you sleeping!<br />Farmer Me: (He wakes up quickly, Angered.) Doggone it, What do you want?!<br />Clark Felicia: Would you go inside?<br />Farmer Me: No! I am tryin' to sleep! Understand, boy?!<br />Clark Felicia: Well, I can't. (He walks inside to Farmer Emmet's cabin room.)<br />Farmer Me: Stupid idiot. (He slept once again.)<br />(Meanwhile on a grassy hillside, Hercules and Amphitryon sit alone.)<br />Amphitryon: Son, you shouldn't let those things they said back there get to you.<br />Hercules: But Pop, they're right. I-I am a freak. I try to fit in, I really do. I just can't. Sometimes.. I feel like, like I really don't belong here. Like I'm supposed to be.. someplace else.<br />Amphitryon: Hercules, sonâ€”<br />Hercules: I know it doesn't make any sense. (Hercules walk away and sings) I have often dreamed of a far off place, Where a great, warm welcome will be waiting for me. Where the crowds will cheer when they see my face, And a voice keeps sayin' this is where I'm meant to be. I will find my way I can go the distance. I'll be there someday. If I can be strong, I know every mile, Will be worth my while, I would go most anywhere to feel like I belong.Â (He returns home.)<br />Amphitryon: Hercules, there's something your mother and I have been meaning to tell ya.<br />(inside the house)<br />Hercules: But if you found me, then where did I come from? Why was I left here?<br />Alcmene: This was around your neck when we found you. It's the symbol of the gods.<br />Hercules: This is it! Don't you see? Maybe they have the answers! I'll go to the temple of Zeus and-- Ma, Pop, you're the greatest parents anyone could have, but.. I-I gotta know.<br />Me: So, uh.. Did Hercules goes away?<br />(Next morning, Hercules walks to the Temple and sings.)<br />Hercules: (singing) I am on my way, I can go the distance. I don't care how far, Somehow I'll be strong, I know every mile, Will be worth my while, I would go most everywhere to find where I belong.<br />Me: Bravo bravo, Buh-rah-voe! That's a good song that I need.<br />Hercules: That's a good song that you need? Finally, I got to see Zeus! Emmet, You stay there.<br />Me: Well, yeah... (To Audience) I should no cares to be everything do I need to get there.<br />(Hercules disappeared.)<br />Me: Right, Hercules? ...Hercules? Herc? Where did they go? I don't care If they want them! So, let me think.... How imagine.... That should I made me for Imagination! You know better than that! I gotta go see Tilus Struman! Hercules will come back later.<br />(Emmet head off. Camera pulls back to wide view of the dark olympus fortress.)(The rain, Thunder booming, And the camera pans down to Tilus Struman's throne.)<br />(Enter Emmet.)<br />Me: Hey, lady! Guess what!<br />Tilus Struman: I despise guessing games.<br />Me: If Hercules said to go see the Zeus.<br />Tilus Struman: (happily) Oh my.<br />Me: If Zeus just showed me the whole heavens, (greedily) and I'm going to see her kid. Heh heh.<br />Tilus Struman: Yes. Well... forgive me for not leaping for joy. Good back, you know.<br />Me: Hey, lady. When i'm a hero, what'll that make you?<br />Tilus Struman: A girlfriend.<br />Me: Heh heh. You're so beauty. (winks)<br />Tilus Struman: You have an idea. ...So, Zeus showed you the whole heavens, did he?<br />Me: Everything.<br />Tilus Struman: He didn't show you what's on the undergrounds pail?<br />Me: (Disappointed) Well, no... he said It's Hades will rule all.<br />Tilus Struman: And he's absolutely right. It's far too dangerous. Only the bravest creatures go there.<br />Me: Well, I'm brave! What's out them all?<br />Tilus Struman: (Interrupting) No, I'm sorry, Brickowski, I just can't tell you.<br />Me: Why not? and what for?<br />Tilus Struman: Oh, Emmet. I'm only looking out for the well- being of my favorite villain boyfriend.<br />(Tilus Struman kisses Emmet's lips.)<br />Me: (Snorts sarcastically) Yeah, right, I'm your only villain girlfriend.<br />Tilus Struman: All the more reason for me to be protective... An titans will unleashed for all monstrous things is no place for Hercules... (chuckles evil)<br />Me: The titans?! Oh, my.<br />Tilus Struman: (Faking dismay) Oh dear, I've said too much... Well, I suppose you'd have found sooner or later, you being SO clever and all... (pulling Emmet's head.) Oh, just do me one favor - promise me you'll visit that eternal place.<br />Me: (Thinks) No problem.<br />Tilus Struman: There's a good lad. You run along now and have fun. And remember... it's our to new girlfriend to me.<br />(Emmet leaves the throne, Tilus Struman walks away with an evil smile. Meanwhile, Hercules enters the Temple of Zeus.)Â <br />Hercules: Oh mighty Zeus, please, hear me and answer my prayer. Â I need to know: Who am I? Â Wh-where do I belong? (wind blows, lightning hits the statue of Zeus, flame ignites in braziers..) Huh? (..and the statue of Zeus comes to life.)<br />Zeus: My boy. My little Hercules. (He reaches for Hercules, who runs away, screaming.) Hey, hey, hey, hold on kiddo! What's your hurry? After all these years is this a kind of hello to give your father?<br />Hercules: Father?<br />Zeus: Didn't know you had a famous father, did you? Surprise!! Look how you've grown. Why you've got your mother's beautiful eyes... and my strong chin. Hah!<br />Hercules: I-I don't understand. If you are my father, that would make me aâ€”<br />Zeus: A god.<br />Hercules: A god. A god!<br />Zeus: Hey, you wanted answers, and by thunder, you're old enough to know the truth.<br />Hercules: But why did you leave me on earth? Didn't you want me?<br />Zeus: Of course we did. Your mother and I loved you with all our hearts but someone stole you from us and turned you mortal, and only gods can live on Mount Olympus.<br />Hercules: And you can't do a thing?<br />Zeus: I can't, Hercules, but you can.<br />Hercules: R-really? W-what? I-I'll do anything.<br />Zeus: Hercules, if you can prove yourself a true hero on Earth, your godhood will be restored!<br />Hercules: A true hero. Great! Uh, exactly how do you become a true hero?<br />Zeus: First, you must seek out Philoctetes, the trainer of heroes.<br />Hercules: Seek out Philoctetes. Right. I'll-- (he falls off Zeus' palm.) Whoa!<br />Zeus: Whoa! Hold your horses! Which reminds me.. (Zeus whistles and the Pegasus flies through an opening in the roof.) Ha-ha! You probably don't remember Pegasus but you two go way back, son. (Pegasus sniffs Hercules, then bonks foreheads with him and licks him.)<br />Hercules: Oh, Pegasus!<br />Zeus: He is a magnificent horse. With the brain of a bird.<br />Hercules: I'll find Philoctetes and become a true hero!<br />Zeus: That's the spirit!<br />Hercules: I won't let you down, father! Yee-haw!<br />Zeus: Good luck, son.<br />(Hercules flies away, singing.)<br />Hercules: (singing) I will beat the odds, I can go the distance! I will face the world, Fearless, proud and strong! I will please the gods, I can go the distance, Till I find my hero's welcome right where I belong!<br />(The scene cuts back to Farmer Emmet's cabin house, in the night, Farmer Emmet is got asleeped again, and again, and again.)<br />Clark Felicia: (offscreen in Clark Felicia's bedroom.) Goodnight! (The lights are off. in 5 minutes, Farmer Emmet WAKES UP ANGERED!)<br />Farmer Me: OH DOGGONE IT YOU BLASTED BANANA BEAK! I'LL BEAT YOU-- (Getting sleep, 2 minutes, He waked up.) Oh, I thought I saw Hercules. (shockedful) HERCULES?! I DID! I DID I SAW HIM! Now where do I go? In a bedroom! (He rushes off inside and closes the door.)
Farmer Me: (offscreen to Clark Felicia's bedroom) You thought I said that! It's Hercules! Through all my life to see Hercules, Then I've saw it!<br />(The camera pans up to the space, the UFO flew in space, Sloth Emmet chased Chicken Emmet until it landed in a room.)<br />Chicken Me: I landed in this place.<br />Sloth Me: Oh, really? Sounds good, should it?<br />Chicken Me: Come get me.<br />(Sloth Emmet raced over to get it, while powering the room. As Sloth Emmet reached for chicken Emmet.)<br />Sloth Me: I thought you bet can.<br />Chicken Me: Like you---<br />(Chicken Emmet suddenly disappeared, bewildering Sloth Emmet.)<br />Sloth Me: Ah! Where did he go?!<br />(Spanish Emmet appeared in a different area. He singing to "Despacito" by Luis Fonsi.)<br />Spanish Me: Despacito, Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito, Deja que te diga cosas al oĂdo, Para que te acuerdes si no estĂˇs conmigo<br />Sloth Me: I gotta get you!<br />(Sloth Emmet ran after it, but Spanish Emmet disappeared. Chicken Emmet teleports back into the previous area.)<br />Sloth Me: Hey! (He grabs Chicken Emmet.) Gotcha!<br />Chicken Me: Oh, don't kill me.<br />(But then, Sloth Emmet & Chicken Emmet gets teleported to the isle of Philoctetes.)<br />Sloth Me: That's no good.<br />Hercules: (offscreen) You sure this is the right place?<br />Sloth Me: Quick wick, He's coming!<br />(Sloth Emmet and Chicken Emmet dressing in the mexican charro suit, Hercules sees Sloth Emmet and Chicken Emmet gets grinned in the stage.)<br />Sloth Me: Uhhhh..... Hola?<br />(And then Hercules sees a goat's behind sticking from the bushes.)<br />Hercules: What's the matter, little guy? You stuck?<br />Phil: Whoa! Hey, butt out, buddy!<br />Hercules: Ugh!<br />Phil: Friends! Stop! Stop! Come back, come back, come back. Whoa, whoa-<br />Sloth Me: Sorry, amigos, Those already Musician bands are coming through above! Stand in the spotlight!<br />Phil: Oh, geez! Wait! Whoa, whoa, whoa!<br />Sloth Me: (sighs)<br />Phil: Spanish things, They can't keep their hands off me.<br />Sloth Me: Well, anyways... IT'S SHOWTIME!<br />(The stage starts to Blumm, Macarena, Hibby and Boe playing in "Tamacun" by Rodrigo Y Gabriela.)<br />Phil: (to Hercules) What's the matter? You never seen in 2017 movie before?<br />Hercules: Uh.. no. Can you help us? We're looking for someone called Philoctetes.<br />Phil: Call me Phil.<br />Hercules: (squeezes his hand) Phil!<br />Phil: Ow!<br />Hercules: Boy, am I glad to meet you! I'm Hercules. This is Pegasus.<br />(Pegasus licks Phil)<br />Phil: Animals! Disgusting!<br />Hercules: I need your help. I want to become a hero. A true hero.<br />Phil: Sorry, kid, can't help ya.<br />Hercules: Wait! (He pulls the door Phil closed before him and raises it in the air with one hand.)<br />Phil: Whoo!<br />Hercules: Uh, sorry. Why not?<br />Phil: Two words: I am retired.<br />(Hercules counts on fingers.)<br />Hercules: Look, I gotta do this. Haven't you ever had a dream, something you wanted so bad you'd do anything?<br />Phil: (sighes) Kid, come inside, I want to show you something.<br />(Inside, Hercules hits his head against a wooden mast.)<br />Phil: Watch it! That was part of the mast of the Argo.<br />Hercules: The Argo?<br />Phil: Yeah. Who do you think taught Jason how to sail? Cleopatra? (He shows Hercules a row of helmets.) I trained all those would-be heroes. Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus. A lot of "yeuseus." And every single one of those bums let me down. Flatter then a discus. None of them could go the distance. And then there was Achilles. Now there was a guy who had it all - the build, the foot speed. He could jab, he could take a hit, he could keep on comin'. But that furshlugginer heel of his! He barely gets nicked there once and - kaboom! Â He's history. Yeah, I had a dream once. I dreamed I was gonna train the greatest hero there ever was. So great the gods would hang a picture of him in the stars... All across the sky, and people would say, "That's Phil's boy." That's right. Eh, but dreams are for rookies. A guy can only take so much disappointment.<br />Hercules: But I am different than those other guys, Â Phil! I can go the distance Come on, I'll show you.<br />Phil: (grunts) Geez, you don't give up, do ya?<br />Hercules: Watch this. (He raises something big which looks like a UFO and sends it flying away.)<br />Phil: Holy Hera.. You know maybe if I- No! Snap out of it! I am too old to get mixed up in this stuff again.<br />Hercules: But if I don't become a true hero, I'll never be able to rejoin my father, Zeus.<br />Phil: Hold it! Zeus is your father, right?<br />Hercules: Uh-huh.<br />Phil: (laughs) Zeus! The big guy. He's your daddy! Mr. Lightning Bolts, read me a book, will ya.. da-da? Zeus! (mimics Zeus) Once upon a timeâ€”<br />Hercules: It's the truth!<br />Phil: Please! (sings) So you wanna be a hero, kid? well, whoop-de-do. I have been around the block before with blockheads just like you. Each and every one was disappointment. Pain for which there ain't no ointment. So much for excuses, Though a kid of Zeus is, Asking me to jump into the fray. My answer is two words.<br />(lightning hits Phil.)<br />Phil: Okay.<br />Hercules: You mean you'll do it?<br />Phil: You win.<br />Hercules: You won't be sorry, Phil.<br />Phil: Oh, gods.<br />Hercules: So when do we start? Can we start now?<br />Phil: Oy, vey.<br />Phil: (sings) I'd given up hope that someone would come along. A fella who'd ring the bell for once not the gong. The kind who wins trophies, Won't settle for low fees, At least semi-pro fees, But no, I get the greenhorn! I've been out to pasture, pal, my ambition gone. Content to spend lazy days and to graze my lawn. But you need an advisor, A satyr, but wiser, A good merchandiser and-- whoa! There goes my ulcer! I'm down to one last hope and I hope it's you, 'Though, kid, you're not exactly a dream come true. I trained enough turkeys, Who never came through! You're my only last hope, So you'll have to do.Â Rule number 6: When rescuing a damsel, always handle with care. (Hercules falls into water.) No! Rule number 95, kid: Concentrate! Rule number 96: Aim!<br />Phil: (singing) Demigods have faced the odds and ended up a mockery. Don't believe in the stories that you read on all the crockery. To be a true hero, kid, is a dying art. Like painting a masterpiece it's a work of heart. It takes more then sinew, Comes down to what's in you. You have to continue, To grow!<br />(Hercules is an adult now.)<br />Phil: Now that's more like it! (singing) I'm down to one last shot and my last high note, Before that blasted underworld gets my goat. My dreams are on you, kid. Go make 'em come true! Climb that uphill slope! Keep pushing that envelope! You're my one last hope. And, kids, it's up to you, Yeah!<br />Hercules: Did you see that? Next stop, Olympus.<br />Phil: All right, just take it easy, champ.<br />Hercules: I am ready, I want to get off this island. I want to see battles and monsters! Rescue some damsels... You know, heroic stuff.<br />Phil: Wellâ€”<br />Hercules: Aw, come on, Phil!<br />Phil: Well, okay, okay. You want a road test? Saddle up, kid. We're going to Thebes!<br />Hercules: Yahoo! (now flying on Pegasus.)<br />(Emmet was found to be tied up and stuck to a tree by Tilus Struman and the armies in Philoctetes because of the left over tar that had popped on him.)<br />Me: I'm stuck into a tree. Why?Â (sigh) I'm stuck on the tree, I literally stuck on a tree!!!!
Lisbeth: (appears)<br />Me: Lisbeth! I got tied up by Tilus Struman, and I stuck into a tree, Can you help me out?<br />Lisbeth: I will! (Burns the ropes and spreads her wings open to fill to Emmet Brickowski.) Get on me! (Carries him down safely) Are you alright, Emmet?<br />Me: I alright. Well... I did I thought we saw the dark fortress....<br />(The scene goes flashback in Tilus Struman's throne.)<br />(Enter Emmet.)<br />Me: Hey, lady! Guess what!<br />Tilus Struman: I despise guessing games.<br />Me: If Hercules said to go see the Zeus.<br />Tilus Struman: (happily) Oh my.<br />Me: If Zeus just showed me the whole heavens, (greedily) and I'm going to see her kid. Heh heh.<br />Tilus Struman: Yes. Well... forgive me for not leaping for joy. Good back, you know.<br />Me: Hey, lady. When i'm a hero, what'll that make you?<br />Tilus Struman: A girlfriend.<br />Me: Heh heh. You're so beauty. (winks)<br />Tilus Struman: You have an idea. ...So, Zeus showed you the whole heavens, did he?<br />Me: Everything.<br />Tilus Struman: He didn't show you what's on the undergrounds pail?<br />Me: (Disappointed) Well, no... he said It's Hades will rule all.<br />Tilus Struman: And he's absolutely right. It's far too dangerous. Only the bravest creatures go there.<br />Me: Well, I'm brave! What's out them all?<br />Tilus Struman: (Interrupting) No, I'm sorry, Brickowski, I just can't tell you.<br />Me: Why not? and what for?<br />Tilus Struman: Oh, Emmet. I'm only looking out for the well- being of my favorite villain boyfriend.<br />(Tilus Struman kisses Emmet's lips.)<br />Me: (Snorts sarcastically) Yeah, right, I'm your only villain girlfriend.<br />Tilus Struman: All the more reason for me to be protective... An titans will unleashed for all monstrous things is no place for Hercules... (giggles evil)<br />Me: The titans?! Oh, my.<br />Tilus Struman: (Faking dismay) Oh dear, I've said too much... Well, I suppose you'd have found sooner or later, you being SO clever and all... (pulling Emmet's head.) Oh, just do me one favor - promise me you'll visit that eternal place.<br />Me: (Thinks) No problem.<br />Tilus Struman: There's a good lad. You run along now and have fun. And remember... it's our to new girlfriend to me.<br />(Emmet leaves the throne, Tilus Struman walks away with an evil smile. The flashback ends.)<br />Lisbeth: Uh oh, Where are they?!<br />Me: Tilus Struman's throne.<br />Lisbeth: Tilus seems bad to the bone.<br />Me: (grabs a picture) This villain with a wand.<br />Me: And don't worry, Lisbeth, I thought you are a hero. I thought Spanish Emmet is singing.<br />Spanish Me: (singing and walks) 'Pasito a pasito, suave suavecito, Nos vamos pegando poquito a poquito, Cuando tĂş me besas con esa destreza, Veo que eres malicia con delicadeza<br />Spanish Me: Pasito a pasito, suave suavecito, Nos vamos pegando, poquito a poquito, Y es que esa belleza es un rompecabezas, Pero pa montarlo aquĂ tengo la pieza,Â Des.... Pa...... Cito? Like, Oh, look at you 2, You fellÂ in love with a flame gal.<br />Lisbeth: I used to be a villian until a friend of mine told me the truth of who I was working for. And now I'm a good captain of the guards. You can trust me.<br />Me: Maybe it is. Lisbeth loves me.<br />Spanish Me: Lisbeth loves you?<br />Me: Yeah.<br />Me: Like stronger to me.<br />(Emmet clicks the remote, The picture appears of Muscular Emmet.)<br />Me: And MUSCULAR!<br />Lisbeth: (giggles) How many of you are there? Either ways I am still in lobe with all of them.~<br />Me: Hmm... My universe?<br />Me: And look at my universe. Just look.~<br />Lisbeth: Just did!<br />Me: (kisses lisbeth's lips)<br />Lisbeth: (smiles) Nice kiss~!<br />Me: Thanks.~<br />Me: Should I go to the fire kingdom?<br />(The portal appears.)<br />Me: The portal appears! I should keep my girlfriend.<br />(Back to Hercules.)<br />Hercules: So, what's in Thebes?<br />Phil: A lot of problems. It's a big tough town, good place to start building a rep. (They hear a woman screaming.) Sounds like your basic D.I.D. - Damsel In Distress.<br />Hercules: Hyah! (They land and see Megara chased by a monster centaur.)<br />Nessus: Not so fast, sweetheart.<br />Megara: I swear, Nessus. Put me down or I'llâ€”<br />Nessus: Whoo! I like 'em fiery! Wait, That did not good.<br />(In the bushes, Hercules gets angry, while Phil instructs.)<br />Phil: Now remember, kid. First, analyze the situation. Don't just barrel in there without thinking. Eh? (Hercules already walks to Nessus and Megara anyway.) He's losin' points for this!<br />Megara: You don't know what you'reâ€”<br />Hercules: Halt!<br />Nessus: Step aside, two legs, two hands, But let me warn you that I am a protĂ©gĂ© of Fosse and Robbins!<br />Hercules: Pardon me, my good, uh, uh..... sir. I'll have to ask you to release that young...<br />Megara: Keep movin', junior.<br />Hercules: ...lady. But you-- are-aren't you a damsel in distress?<br />Megara: I am a damsel, I am in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day.<br />Hercules: Uh-- *ahem* Ma'am, I'm afraid you may be too close to the situation to realize-- (he takes his sword out and Nessus immediately hits him so he flies away.)<br />Phil: Ohhh! What are you doin'? Get your sword!<br />Hercules: (searching in water) Sword. Right, right.. Rule #15: A hero is only as good as his weapon!<br />(He picks up a fish and directs it at Nessus. Nessus laugh and Megara looks bored. Nessus then hits Hercules with a fist and Hercules flies away again)<br />Phil: (groans and tells to Pegassus who rushes to help) Whoa! Hold it! Hold on! He's gotta do it on his Â own. Come on, kid! Concentrate! Use your head!<br />Hercules: Oh... (He surges forward and socks Nessus with his head. Nessus flies away.)<br />Phil: All right! Not bad, kid. Not exactly what I had in mind, but not bad. (Megara gets up from water and coughs)<br />Hercules: Oh, gee, Miss, I'm I'm really sorry.<br />Megara: Oh.<br />Hercules: That was dumb.<br />Megara: Yeah. (Nessus runs in again)<br />Hercules: Excuse me. (He attacks Nessus, hits his head several times, and throws him)<br />Phil: Nice work! Excellente!<br />Megara: Is wonderboy here for real? (He turned into Elliot.)<br />Phil: What are you talking about? Of course he's real... (Gasped) Why did he turned into a Deer?<br />Elliot: (turns back to Megara)<br />Phil: (notices Megara) Whoa! And by the way, sweet cheeks, I am real too. (Phil gets on Megara's lap, but she pushes him into water)<br />Megara: Ugh. (meanwhile, Hercules ride on Nessus)<br />Hercules: (like a cowboy) Yee-hah! Yahoo! (He finishes Nessus in a spectacular fight) How was that, Phil?<br />Phil: Rein it in, rookie. You can get away with mistakes like those in the minor decathlons, but this is the big leagues!<br />Hercules: (sighes) At least I beat him. Didn't I?<br />Phil: Next time, don't let your guard down because of a pair of big goo-goo eyes! D-oh! It's like I keep tellin' ya. You gotta stay focused, and you-- Hey, where did he go? Kid? Blast that little---<br />(Hercules walks up to Megara)<br />Hercules: Are you, uh, all right, Miss, uhâ€”<br />Megara: Megara. My friends call me Meg. At least they would if I had any friends. So, did they give you a name along with all those rippling pectorals?<br />Hercules: Uh, I'm, um, uhâ€”<br />Megara: Are you always that articulate? (she turns to leave)<br />Hercules: Hercules. my-- *ahem* My name is Hercules.<br />Megara: Hercules, huh? I think I prefer wonderboy.<br />Hercules: So, uh, how-how-how'd you get mixed up with the, uhâ€”<br />Megara: Pinhead with hooves? Well, you know how men are. They think that "no" means "yes" and "get lost" means "take me, I'm yours". Don't worry, Shorty here can explain it to ya later. (Phil growls) Well, thanks for everything, Herc. It's been a real slice.<br />Hercules: Wait! Um.. can we give you a ride? (Pegasus snorts, whinnies, and jumps to a high branch.)<br />Megara: Uh, I don't think your Pinto likes me very much.<br />Hercules: Pegasus? Oh, no, don't be silly. He'd be more than happy to-- ow! (Pegasus drops an apple on Hercules' head)<br />Megara: I'll be all right. I'm a big, tough girl. I tie my own sandals and everything. Bye-bye Wonderboy.<br />Hercules: Bye... She's something, isn't she, Phil?<br />Phil: Yeah, oh yeah, she's really something. A real pain in the patella! Earth to Herc! Come in Herc! Come in Herc! We got a job to do, remember? Thebes is still waitin'.<br />Hercules: Yeah. Yeah. I know.<br />(The camera goes up to the blue sky, They look beauty, The camera switches to a far view of Fire Kingdom, We can hear Emmet is in the tower room, and then the scene switches to a view of Emmet and Lisbeth.)<br />Me: Everybody knows what can do be, I thought the wedding is coming tomorrow, Lisbeth!<br />Me: Maybe, some brides, no brutes, No haters, Except like any other! (He holds up a Bob Blob.) Or, the blob. (Throws him away.) So, any requests?<br />Me: ...Uh, nobody.<br />Me: (He gasped) Okay, I got it, I got it, I wish for....<br />Me: I wish Lisbeth can marry me.<br />Michelle: (appears behind at emmet)<br />Michelle: Hello, Emmet! (Scares him from the back)<br />Me: EEK! Oh, you scared me.<br />Michelle: Hah! You should've seen the look on your face.<br />Me: (kisses michelle's lips)<br />Michelle: (looks confused and pissed) What was that for? A friend's kiss? I think you should've kissed me in the cheeks! (smiles friendly and smirks)<br />Me: Heh...
Me: (heards the Musicians plays "Viking Man" by Rodirgo y Gabriela, again) I heard that song...
Lisbeth: Uh, what are you doing here?
Me: I hear playing music! I got to go, Well.. I'LL BE BACK THERE IN ONE MINUTE! (runs away nervously)
Lisbeth: Wait! It could be nervous out there!
Michelle: There's only an diamonds and golds.
Lisbeth: Oh, well... I'll guess we'll check.
(Cut to the Musicians is in the stage of Fire-Rockz, The crowd cheers.)
Me: (runs to the Musicians, wears an mexican charro suit and dancing in the stage) Yeah!
Betilla: (appears) Emmet?
Me:Â What? (defiantly)Â It's called a "skylight"!
Betilla: A skylight? Welp, I guess not! You're coming with me.
Me: (trying to salvage the situation)Â Ho ho. Wow! Isn't that creative. A skylight! Oh, ha ha.... (seeking the portal appears in earth)Â I'll just have a word with him. (Betilla leads Emmet away from the scene of the collapse, Betilla enters the portal of Earth, and the portal disappears.)
Me: I... I was just trying to shed a little light on our pathetic existence!<br />Betilla: Son, this can't go on. Just this month, you've got the pinata scourge and collapsed two things exits. (She pats Emmet's hair) We have to look after each other. Our survival depends on it!<br />Me: What's the point? I thought I can't reach anything in this party fiestas. (Betilla finishes patting his hair) I wanna be where we don't have to get tied up by that lady and live with our tar stuck in the tree! (pushes some grass apart and gazes out over the horizon) What's so good about dreaming of a better home? I may think.<br />Betilla: (joins him at the gap in the grass) I wanna show you something. Look, my son. Go on, look. (Camera pulls back to a panoramic view of Mount Olympus, as the "Mammoths" theme plays) Look out to the horizon, past the trees, over the grasslands. For everyday in this land... (sharply) It belongs to someone else!<br />Me: What?!<br />(A record needle scratches; the grasses snap back together and block the view.)<br />Me: Funny, funny, funny and fun. I thought you were going a whole different direction with this.<br />Betilla: What can I say? It's from the movie of Hercules!<br />Sloth Me: (appears out of the grass suddenly) That is suddenly right! She fight titans. I think they got one simple day for everything.<br />Me: Everything will not have an cheese and the voicebox, Ding dong dell, Kitty's in the bell... Right?<br />Sloth Me: Nervously, Not exactly; we can't give up. We're grass intolerant.<br />Betilla: (snatches Emmet away) Ok, you ground slothern. Thank you. You've been a big help. (To Emmet) Son, I--<br />Sloth Me: (appearing out of another stand of grass) Bing bong bing bong bing bong bing bong. Bing... it's what's for dinner!<br />Betilla: (increasingly sarcastic; pointing meaningfully off into the distance) Thank you, Sloth Emmet.<br />Sloth Me: (groans at the camera) Mrhhh.. (facepalms) God darn it! (disappears)<br />Me: I wish Sloth Emmet dislodged one too many rocks with his skull.<br />Betilla: But he's right, Emmet. (She tries to pat his hair again; a chicken rushes by, and she snatches it and squishes it into hair gel) Oh, I just know there's a way for you to fit in here.<br />Me: Oh, brother.<br />Deer Slimmy: (off-screen, in the top of a tree) Chunks.<br />Me: Chunks?<br />Slimmy: Chunks! That would it be in this thing right there!<br />Me: I thought my mother can love me to this....<br />Slimmy: Oh. Hold the phone.<br />Me: I think she is!<br />Sloth Me: (Offscreen, to the other sloths) Alright, Who's with me? And, who's on sentry duty?<br />Betilla: (perks up with inspiration; gasps) That's it! That's itâ€”My son on sentry duty! Emmet the Sentry!<br />Me: Oh, brother again.<br />(cut to Sloth Emmet being told of this idea)<br />Sloth Me: (in horrified shock) Emmet the sentry?! Why don't you save the demons the trouble and kill me now? Just kill me now!<br />Me: He has a point.... Huh.<br />Betilla: All you have to do is watch for demons and yell if you see one. Look at Jip. He's not probably as okay.<br />Me: Oh, blah blah. (holds up a cannon ball) I know already saw that! (throws A cannonball away)<br />Jip: (Offscreen as the voice of Fred from Spongebob Squarepants) My leg!<br />Me: Well. Now I'm convinced!<br />Betilla: Listenâ€”it's outside, up in the breeze, under the wide open skyâ€”isn't that what you want? (To Sloth Emmet) Or maybe you would rather have him go back on the machine crews.<br />Sloth Me: No.<br />Me: Oh.<br />Betilla: Good... then we all agree. Emmet, listen to Sloth Emmet. He'll teach you everything you need to know. And son, (earnestly) try to make this one work. (flies away)<br />(Cut to the lookout rock, under a big tree.)<br />Sloth Me: No, other left. No, no! Straight out! Straight out! No! Can you just straight out?! Okay okay, Good, Other right... Other left... Other left to closer, Little bit more, Closer, closer closer closer..... closer..... Oh, yeah, there we go, there we go! Okay. Well then.<br />(Sloth Emmet is demonstrating the duties of the sentry.)<br />Sloth Me: (demonstrating) Scurry, sniff, BEAST! Oh, sorry... Scurry, sniff, flinch! Scurry, sniff, flinch! (Emmet is unimpressed and rolling his eyes) Scurry, sniff, flinch! Good. Now... what do we do if we see a demon thingy?<br />Me: Scream "Yipes"!<br />Sloth Me: That's right, mister! Because the world out there is fraught with danger. Nester fella, I tell you!<br />Me: (aside, to the camera, over Sloth Emmet; sarcastically) Oh, boy. It's the Funky Bowling.<br />Sloth Me: (furiously pantomiming) Even furious things what's all about, Even all bloodthirsty demons are waiting to rip us limb from limb!<br />Me: (applauding sarcastically) Oh, bruddah, Way to sell it to the cheap seats.<br />Sloth Me: Oh, even you servance? (in his face) Applaud now, friend. (quiet and severe) But try clapping when you don't have any hands! (turns and leaves) For dust to dust! Anything.<br />(Emmet gulps, looking at his hands. Then he takes up his position on the rock.)<br />Me: Well, I thought it guess not.<br />(Meanwhile, Hercules and Phil are flying on Pegasus, as they reach the city of Thebes.)<br />Hercules: Wow! Is that all one town?<br />Phil: One town. A million troubles. The one and only Thebes. The big olive itself. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. (They enter the city.) Stick with me, kid. This city is a dangerous place. (They almost get hit by a passing carriage.)<br />Driver: Look where you're goin' numbskull!<br />Phil: Hey, I'm walkin' here! You see what I mean? I'm tellin' you- wackos.<br />Man: Pita bread, pita bread, get your pita bread here!<br />Green Pig Me: Hello, buddy. (he opens his coat at Phil and Hercules)<br />Phil: Whoa, whoa, whoa!<br />Green Pig Me: You wanna buy a pig meat?<br />Phil: He's not interested, all right? Come on, kid.<br />Panda Me: I think I burned a marshmallow!<br />Phil: Yes, yes. Thank you for the info. Yes. We'll ponder that for a while. (to Hercules) Just stare at the sidewalk. Come on. Don't make eye contact. People here are nuts. That's because they live in a city of turmoil. Trust me, kid, you're gonna be just what the doctor ordered.<br />(At a fountain nearby, a group of people are discussing the city's problems.)<br />Woman: It was tragic! We lost everything in the fire.<br />Man: Everything except the donkeys!<br />Donkey: I'm a donkey.<br />Strong man: Now, were the fires before or after the earthquake?<br />Thin woman: They were after the earthquake, I remember.<br />Mus Me: Is this something about cats?<br />Heavy woman: But before the flood.<br />Old man: Don't even get me started on the crime rate.<br />Heavy woman: Thebes has certainly gone downfall in a hurry.<br />Old man: Tell me about it. It seems like every time I turn around there's some new monster wreaking havoc and I<br />Man: All we need now is a plague or the sloth.<br />(Earl hops in and laughs goofily, scaring everybody.)<br />Old man: That's it! I'm movin' to Sparta!<br />Hercules: (arriving up to them) Excuse me. It, uh *ahem*, seems to me that what you folks need is a hero.<br />Strong man: (skeptically) Yeah, and who are you?<br />Hercules: I'm Hercules, and, uh, I happen to be... a hero.<br />Jazz Jackrabbit: I hope it does right, dummy!<br />(crowd laughs)<br />Old man: Is that so?<br />Woman: A hero!<br />Old man: Have you ever saved a town before?<br />Hercules: Uh, no, uh, not exactly, but I<br />Strong man: Have you ever reversed a natural disaster?<br />Hercules: Well, uh... no.<br />Strong man: Oh, listen to this. He's just another chariot chaser. This we need.<br />Woman: (repeatedly) That's a laugh.<br />(Emmet pauses the movie.)<br />Me: (voiceover) Than it repeatedly 10 times; (He resumes the movie)<br />Woman: That's a laugh.<br />Me: And again,<br />Woman: That's a laugh.<br />Me: Again,<br />Woman: That's a laugh.<br />Me: Again,<br />Woman: That's a laugh.<br />Me: Again,<br />Woman: That's a laugh.<br />Me: Again,<br />Woman: That's a laugh.<br />Me: Again,<br />Woman: That's a laugh.<br />Me: Again,<br />Woman: That's a laugh.<br />Me: Again,<br />Woman: That's a laugh.<br />Me: And again.<br />Woman: That's a laugh.<br />Me: Short it, lady.<br />Phil: Don't you pea brains get it?<br />Woman: Hmm?<br />Phil: This kid is a genuine article.<br />Man: Hey, isn't that the goat-man who trained Achilles?<br />Phil: (Getting angry) Watch it pal!<br />Strong man: Yeah, you're right. Hey, nice job on those heels! Ya' missed a spot!<br />Phil: I got your heel right here! (hits the man and starts beating him) I'll wipe that stupid grin off your face! You-<br />Hercules: Hey Phil! Phil! Phil! Take it easy, Phil.<br />Strong man: What are you, crazy? Sheesh.<br />Heavy woman: Young man, we need a professional hero. Not an amateur.<br />Hercules: Well, wait. Stop! (Sighs, to Phil) How am I supposed to prove myself a hero if nobody will give me a chance?<br />Phil: You'll get your chance; you just need some kind of catastrophe or disaster, Yadda-yadda-yadda.<br />(Megara appears in the crowd)<br />Megara: Please! Help! Please! There's been a terrible accident!<br />Hercules: Meg?<br />Phil: Speaking of disasters.<br />Megara: Wonderboy! Hercules! Thank goodness!<br />Hercules: Wha-what's wrong?<br />Megara: Outside of town, two little boys, they were playing in the gorge. Â There was that rock slide, a terrible rock slide. They're trapped!<br />Hercules: Kids? Trapped? Phil, this is great!<br />Megara: You are really choked up about this, aren't ya?<br />Hercules: (Dragging Meg) Come on!<br />Megara: No, I- You don't under- I have this terrible fear of heights!<br />Phil: (running) I'm right behind ya, kid! Whoo! (panting) I am way behind ya, kid. (sputtering) I got a fur wedgie.<br />(Cut back to Emmet, sitting.)<br />Me: The world out there is fraught with danger, puh!<br />(A cockroach walks past Emmet. He roar at it.)<br />Me: Roar.<br />(A cockroach has no reaction to this first attempt.)<br />Cockroach: Watch it, kid. I'm walkin' past here.<br />(Emmet then jumps down and tries again.)<br />Me: Roar!<br />Cockroach: Are you a dog, or somethin'? No way! I'm tryin' to walk here.<br />(For the third attempt, Emmet moves closer again and inhales deeply, With a lion sound)<br />Cockroach: Whadda-<br />Me: ROAR!!!!!!<br />Cockroach: AAAHH!<br />(The cockroach skitters off screen. Emmet's roar echoes around to it. Shot of Emmet lifting his ears to relish the echo.)<br />Me: Scared a little bug in the knee. (Jumps back to the rock.) Scurry, sniff, flinch. Scurry, sniff, flinch. (marimbas begin; Emmet starts to get into it) Hm.... I like the sound of that. Scurry, sniff, flinch. (He begins dancing more and more flamboyantly) Scurry, sniff, flinch. Scurry, sniff, flinch. Scurry, sniff, flinch! Haha!<br />("That's All I Need", the hero song to "Warthog Rhapsody", begins.)<br />Me: (singing) There's more to life than panic, And being some other guy's snack, Oh, boy.<br />(Angel Dust pop up from behind a rock in the background, then disappear again.)<br />Me: I may be hero, organic, But this little entree's fighting back! I'm gonna put in the movie behind me, And live at a new altitude, I'm gonna reach for the stars to remind me, That humans are not merely food!Â Eh? I can do whatever she is then! Alright, I'll start them pack over there..... (He pulls out a microphone) I could be singing for all great days! What's he saying? (He turns into Japan Emmet) Watashi ga shitte iru? (Turns back to normal) You do know! (singing) For once I'll be...Â (steps onto a cloud and surfs into a cartoony waterfall setting) Lookin' out for me... yeah! I'll tell you what I want<br />Half Life is movin' on<br />He's a bon vivant<br />Who's missin' out on bon<br />I'd be a bigger cheese<br />Far from the desert scene<br />A little cooling breeze<br />A little patch of eagles!<br />And I'll be snoozin' in my hammock by a rippling stream<br />Many miles from any tunnel and the digging team<br />Looking after number one will be my only creed<br />That's all I needÂ Hah!<br />That's all I need!<br />Me: (Dancing the "Shuffle Off to Buffalo") I've always been good at runnin' away, Well, now I'm gonna run the show-ow, I've always been seen as the ultimate prey, But now my status ain't so quo!<br />(The cartoon and the music dissolve as he improvises, unaware Sir Pentious and his Eggbois have surrounded him.)<br />Me: (improvising) A dream sublime... It's demon tiiime... oh!<br />Sir Pentious: (clapping) Nice singing, big fella, If there's a dumb hero and a show!<br />Eggboi 1: And I thought beans were the only musical hero.<br />Eggboi 2: Yeah, that whacks them out!<br />Me: (frozen in fear) Dh.. Dh.. Dh..<br />Sir Pentious: Too bad, sucker! (Evil laughs, smacks Emmet, who goes rolling down the hill, and the ice cave)<br />Me: Ayy! Ohh! Ow! That hurts... Oh, great. (Insides the ice cave) Anybody here? Woah-oh, Anyone?
Zane: (gets tied up in the white rock by Demon Crows) Hello?
Me: I heard that always a triple trouble days!
Me: (runs to Zane)
Zane: Emmet, I only to you hope! The end is near!
Me: You only to I hope? Where did It come from?
Zane: That demon got tied me up!
Me: Tied you up? Like who?
Zane: Tilus Struman! She wants to kill me.
Me: Tilus Struman??? I had no time for this! I'll be right there, Zane. Woh-oh-oah! And you can stay there, I can untie you for 7 second. I'll be right back. Woah-ooo-ooh. That darn ice. Aaa-oooooooo.... Ooooo-OOOOO-Ooooo-woah!
Me: (Offscreen) My butt!
(Back to Hercules)<br />(Hercules and Megara land, and Hercules dismounts from Pegasus.)<br />Hercules: Are you okay?<br />Megara: I'll be fine. Just get me down before I ruin the upholstery.<br />Pain: (as boy) Help! I can't breathe!<br />Panic: (as boy) Hurry!<br />Pain: (as boy) Get us out!<br />Panic: (as boy) We're suffocating! Somebody call IX-I-I!<br />Hercules: Easy fellas, you'll be all right!<br />Pain: (as boy) We can't last much longer!<br />Panic: (as boy) Get us out before we get crushed!<br />Pain: (as boy) Blowned barnacle!<br />Panic: (as boy) Eagle mutt!<br />Pain: (as boy) Bingo!<br />(Hercules raises a huge boulder. Kids run out from under it and the crowd applauses lightly.)<br />Hercules: How you boys doin'?<br />Panic: (as boy) We're okay now.<br />Pain: (as boy) Jeepers, mister, you are really strong!<br />Hercules: (still holding the stone) Well, try to be a little more careful next time, okay, kids?<br />Pain: (as boy) We sure will! (they run away, up the slope and face Hades)<br />Hades: A stirring performance, boys. I was really moved.<br />Panic: "Jeepers, Mister" ?<br />Pain: I was going for innocence.<br />Hades: And, hey, two thumbs way, way up for our leading lady. (looking at Sloth Emmet) What a dish. What a doll.<br />Sloth Me: I'm not a doll and a dish, I'm a sloth.<br />Hades: Oh, sorry. (looking at Megara) Heh, So you want?<br />Megara: (quietly) Get outta there, you big lug, while you still can.<br />Hercules: Phil, I did great. They even applauded.. sort of.<br />(an ice wall faint rumbling sound begins)<br />(Emmet pauses the movie.)Â <br />Me: (voiceover) That's not an Ice wall! That's Hydra! (Resumes the movie)<br />(Growling sound begins)<br />Phil: Huh! I hate to burst your bubble, kid, but that ain't applause.<br />Me: (appears) Oh, ha, ha, ha. Very funny.<br />(Hydra appears)<br />Hercules: Ph-ph-ph-phil? What do you call that thing?<br />Phil: Two words! Am-scray!!<br />Hades: Let's get ready to-- (farts and bursting into flames) WHY!!!!!Â (settles down) Get excited, get excited.<br />(Hydra and Hercules start fighting)<br />Phil: That's it. Dance around! Dance around! Watch the teeth. Watch the teeth Keep Â going. Come on. Come on. Lead with your left. Lead with your left! You other left!! (being grabbed in the head by Sloth Emmet) No no no, Not the head! Not the head!<br />Sloth Me: Why should you head them out? (He flips Phil to upside down.)<br />Phil: Oh, beetles. Can you put me down?<br />Sloth Me: I didn't put down there.<br />Phil: Why?<br />Sloth Me: Hm, I thought I wish I became a sloth! (throws Phil away)<br />Phil: (offscreen, Pained) Ohhh, My pancreas!<br />(Finally Hercules cuts the head of Hydra off. Crowd cheers)<br />Phil: All right! All right! You are bad! Okay!<br />Hercules: See, Phil? That-- That wasn't so hard. (He drops sword and falls flat on the ground)<br />Phil: Kid, kid, kid, how many horns do ya see?<br />Hercules: Six?<br />Phil: Eh, close enough. Let's get you cleaned up.<br />(Above on Hades' watching perch, Panic shivers and gulps.)<br />Hades: Guys, guys, relax. It's only halftime. While I should-- (Bursting into flames for once) I RIPPING YOU ALL HEADS OFF!!!Â (settles down for a little bit) Nope, It's okay. Time is up.<br />(Below,Â Hercules and Phil hear rumbling from Hydra's body.)<br />Phil: That doesn't sound good. (Hydra gets three new heads) Definitely not good!<br />(Hercules on Pegasus fights with Hydra and keeps slicing her heads off, getting more and more new ones)<br />Phil: Will you forget that head-slicing thing?<br />Me: To be fair, What's with for Billion billion years ago for Ice Ages to extinct animals?<br />Phil: Yeah, Extinct animals are Ice Age.<br />(Hercules gets knocked off Pegasus and falls among heads and necks of Hydra)<br />Hercules: Phil, I don't think we covered this one in basic training!<br />(Hercules escapes, but falls back from the cliff and is now pressed against the wall by Hydra's paw)<br />Hades: My favorite part of the game: Brown burger-- (bursting into flames, again) NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!Â (settles down) That's not a brown burger, It's a sudden burger-- (burst to flames) NO NO NO!!!!!!!Â (settles down for little bit) It's not a sudden burger, It's a sudden death.<br />(Hercules crushes the rock on Hydra and gets buried under rocks himself too.)<br />Phil: Oh! There goes another one. Just like Achilles.<br />Hades: (lighting himself a cigar) Banana cheese, made with superior foods. No no no, That's not the same thing, is it? But big things, why? Game set match! That's what it is! Game.... Set.... (groans angered and whisper) Match.<br />(Hercules appears from Hydra's dead paw. Crowd cheers real loud now.)<br />Hercules: Phil, you gotta admit, that was pretty heroic.<br />Phil: Ya did it, kid! Ya did it! You won by a landslide!<br />(Above, Hades turns a bright shade of red, destroying his cigar and pinches his minions' eye sockets.)<br />Hades: Son of a gun.<br />Panic: (in pain) Hades mad.<br />Megara: Well. What do ya know?<br />Me: Ya felt right!
(Meanwhile, Panda Emmet walks in the road of dirt in the stand tall of grass.)<br />Sloth Me: Hey! Wait! (tackles Panda Emmet)<br />Panda Me: Will you quit it?<br />Sloth Me: But you said that! None upon thars!<br />Panda Me: What?<br />Sloth Me: I'm trying to walk here. What, Mount Olympus ain't big enough for you?<br />Panda Me: Huh?<br />Sloth Me: You got a problem, buddy? Huh? Huh? Do 'ya? Do 'ya? Do 'ya? You want a piece of me? Yeah, oooh, I'm scared now. Whaat!?<br />Panda Me: Wait a minute..<br />Sloth Me: You hurdle-bear! Stop following me, okay!?<br />Panda Me: What? You're showing me which way the thing went!<br />Sloth Me: A thing? Hey, I've seen a thing. It passed by not too long ago. It went this way, it went this way. Follow me!<br />Panda Me: Wait a minute, wait a minute! What is going on? You already told me which way the thing was going!<br />Sloth Me: I did? Oh, shorts.<br />Panda Me: If this is some kind of practical joke, it's not funny! And I know funny.. I'm a panda!<br />Sloth Me: No, it's not. I know it's not. I'm so sorry. See, I suffer from short-term memory loss.<br />Panda Me: Short-term memory loss..I don't believe this!<br />Sloth Me: No, it's true. I forget things almost instantly. It runs in Sidney.. or at least I think it does. Hmmm.. where are they? (In 5 mins, He clicks the lips.) Can I help you?<br />Panda Me: Something's wrong with you, really. You're wasting my time. I have to find Po. (sees Tiger Shaun and gasps scaredly)<br />Tiger Shaun: Hello.<br />Sloth Me: Well, hi!<br />Tiger Shaun: Name's Shaun. It's all right, I understand. Why trust a tigers on the bounty hunters, right? Because... (roars) So, what's a couple of eats like you doing out so late, eh?<br />Panda Me: Nothing. We're not doing anything. We're not even out.<br />Tiger Shaun: Great! Then how'd you morsels like to come to a little get-together I'm havin'?<br />Sloth Me: You mean like a party?<br />Tiger Shaun: Yeah, yeah, that's right, a party! What do you say?<br />Sloth Me: Ooh, I love parties! Parties are fun!<br />Panda Me: Parties are fun, and it's tempting but--<br />Tiger Shaun: Oh, come on, I insist.<br />Panda Me: O-okay.. that's all that matters.<br />Sloth Me: Hey, look. Balloons! It is a party!<br />Tiger Shaun: Ha ha ha! Mind your distance, though. Those balloons can be a bit dodgy. You wouldn't want one of them to pop.<br />(Scrat made his way out of the migration and further north, where he found a small tree in which to deposit his acorn. During the sunsetting, through much struggle and toil, Scrat moved his acorn up the tree and nearly dropped it, picking it back as it nearly fell with his teeth. Scrat then moved to the top of the tree and found a small hollow space in which to store his acorn. Feeling the bottom of it with his foot, Scrat readied himself to store the acorn in the tree by raising it into the air so as to force it in. At that moment, Clyde Bear was in.)<br />Clyde Bear: Hey! What you doing in my tree? Get down there!<br />(Scrat gets mad and shooks "No" at Clyde Bear)<br />Clyde Bear: Why you stupid squirrel! Get over her! (climbs the tree fast and Punches Scrat)<br />Scrat: (falls into the den)<br />(A bear looked at Scrat and then saw his acorn growls softly. Noticing that the bear was looking straight at his acorn, Scrat gripped it tightly while giving him a displeasing look. The bear looked at Scrat's acorn as Scrat moved it different positions, while it was still in his grip. After realizing that the Bear was after his acorn, Scrat screamed while the bear roars. The bear chased Scrat around in the cave.)
(Cuts to Black Hat & Emmet)
Me: From that day forward, our boy Hercules could do no wrong. So, which can it do not wrong?<br />Black Hat: He was so hot, steam looked cool.<br />Me: Wait, We can't sing.<br />Black Hat: Should we fast-forwarding in the movie?<br />Me: Yeah. (He begins to fast-forwarding in the movie, And finally stops the movie, Hades practices shooting at targets.)<br />Hades: Pull!<br />Megara: Nice shooting, Rex.<br />Hades: I can't believe this guy. I throw everything I've got at him. And it doesn't even-- (sees Pain wearing Emmet's Hercules "trademark" sandals) What are those?<br />Pain: Um.. I don't know. I thought they looked kinda dashing.<br />Hades: I've got 24 hours to get rid of this bozo, or the entire scheme I've been setting up for 18 years goes up in smoke and you are wearing his booger mashing creeper!<br />(Panic interrupts them by slurping some cola from a Emmet's Hercules "trademark" plastic cup)<br />Panic: Thirsty? Cover my face!<br />(Hades yells, causing a small earthquake)<br />Megara: Looks like your game's over. Wonderboy is hitting every curve you throw at him.<br />Hades: Oh yeah.. I wonder if maybe I haven't been Â throwing the right curves at him. Meg, my sweet.<br />Megara: Don't even go there.<br />Hades: See, he's gotta have a weakness, because everybody's got a weakness I mean for what? Pandora, it was the box thing, for the Trojans, hey, they bet on the wrong horse, okay? We simply need to find out Wonderboy's.<br />Megara: I've done my part. Get your little impsâ€”<br />Hades: They couldn't handle him as a baby. I need someone who can... handle him as a man.<br />Megara: Hey, I've sworn off manhandling.<br />Hades: Well, you know, that's good because that's what got you into the jam in the first place, isn't it? You sold your soul to me to save your boyfriend's life. And how does this creep thank you? By running off with some babe. He hurt you real bad, didn't he, Meg? Huh?<br />Megara: Look, I learned my lesson, okay?<br />Hades: Which is exactly why I got a feelin' you're gonna leap at my new offer. You give me the key to bringing down wonder breath and I give you the thing that you crave most in the entire cosmos-- (screams as the echoing in the mountain) AHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG!!!!!!!<br />(In the Elephant Graveyard)<br />Tiger Shaun: Archer, Buffer!<br />Hyena Archer: There you are, Shaun, finally!<br />Tiger Shaun: We got company.<br />Hyena Archer: It's about time, pal.<br />Hyena Buffer: We've already gone through all the snacks and I'm still starvin'!<br />Hyena Archer: We almost had a feeding frenzy.<br />Panda Me: Uh oh...<br />Hyena Buffer: Come on, let's get this over with.<br />(Time-lapse)<br />Tiger Shaun: Right, then. The meeting has officially come to order. Let us all say the pledge..<br />Tiger Shaun, Hyena Archer & Hyena Buffer: I am nice, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Animals are friends, not food.<br />Hyena Archer: Except stinkin' Lions.<br />Hyena Buffer: Lions! Yeah, they think they're sooo bad! 'Hey, look at me. I'm a lion, Let me roar for 'ya! Ain't I a somethin'!' *ROAR!*<br />Tiger Shaun: Right, then. Today's meeting is step 5, 'BRING THE ANIMAL FRIEND'. Now do you all have your friends?<br />Hyena Archer: Got mine.<br />Sloth Me: Hey there!<br />Tiger Shaun: How 'bout you, Buffer?<br />Hyena Buffer: Oh, um, I seem to have misplaced my uh, friend.<br />Tiger Shaun: That's all right, Buff. I had a feeling this would be a difficult step, you can help yourself to one of my friends.<br />Hyena Buffer: Oh, thanks, mate. A little hyena for Hyenas, eh?<br />Tiger Shaun: I'll start the testimonies. Hello, my name is Shaun.<br />Hyena Archer & Hyena Buffer: Hello, Shaun.<br />Tiger Shaun: It has been three weeks since I hungry, on my honor, or may I be chopped up and made into soup.<br />Hyena Buffer: You're an inspiration to all of us.<br />Hyena Archer: Oh.<br />Tiger Shaun: Right, then. Who's next?<br />Panda Me: Me? I don't have a problem.<br />Tiger Shaun: Oh. Okay..<br />Tiger Shaun, Hyena Archer & Hyena Buffer: Denial.<br />Tiger Shaun: Just start with your name.<br />Panda Me: Okay. Uh, hello. My name is Panda Emmet. I'm a Panda-<br />Hyena Buffer: A panda? Really?!<br />Tiger Shaun: Go on, tell us a joke!<br />Hyena Buffer: Ooh! I love jokes!<br />Panda Me: Actually I do know one that's pretty good deeds. There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally, they don't talk, brother bear cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks. So the bear mollusk says to the cucumber...<br />Po: (as a ghost) I'm not a big, fat panda. I'm THE big, fat panda.<br />Panda Me: Po..<br />Hyena Buffer: Po! Ha ha ha! Po! I don't get it.<br />Tiger Shaun: For the pandas, he's not that funny.<br />Panda Me: No, no, no, no. He's a giant panda. He was passed away.<br />Sloth Me: Oh my, you poor panda.<br />Tiger Shaun: Master Po. Think they own everything.<br />Hyena Archer: Probably the Kung Fu champion of the master owner, Shifu.<br />Tiger Shaun: Now there is a panda looking for his giant panda.<br />Panda Me: Ugh! What do these markings mean?<br />Tiger Shaun: I never knew my father! (Sobs)<br />Hyena Buffer: Aw, come here.<br />Hyena Archer: Group hug.<br />Hyena Buffer: We're all mates here, mate.<br />Panda Me: I can't read demons.<br />Sloth Me: Well then we gotta find a giant panda who can read this. Hey, look. guys!<br />Panda Me: No, no, no, Sloth Emmet!<br />Sloth Me: Guys, guys!<br />Panda Me: No, Sloth Emmet!<br />Sloth Me: That's mine! Give it to me! Gimme! Oww!<br />Panda Me: Oh, I'm sorry. Are you okay?<br />Sloth Me: Ow, ow, ow.<br />Panda Me: I'm so sorry.<br />Sloth Me: You really clocked me there. Am I having an bad day?<br />Panda Me: Ohh...<br />Sloth Me: Ow, ow, ow.<br />Tiger Shaun: Sloth Emmet, are you oka- (gets evil) oohh. Oohh, that's bad.<br />Hyena Archer & Hyena Buffer: Intervention!<br />Tiger Shaun: Just a bite!<br />Hyena Archer: Hold it together, mate!<br />Hyena Buffer: Remember, Shaun, Animals are friends, not food!<br />Tiger Shaun: FOOD!!!!<br />Panda Me: Sloth Emmet, look out!<br />Sloth Me: Eek!<br />Tiger Shaun: I'LL NEVER EAT THE ANIMALS BEFORE THEY COME TO THE END!!!!!!!!!<br />Hyena Buffer: Remember the steps, mate!<br />Tiger Shaun: (roars) Just one bite!<br />Tiger Shaun: G'day!<br />Sloth Me & Panda Me: (screams)<br />Tiger Shaun: Arrrr!<br />Panda Me: There's no way out! There's got to be a way to escape!<br />Sloth Me: Who is it?<br />Panda Me: Emmet, help me find a way out!<br />Sloth Me: Sorry, you'll have to come back later. We're trying to escape?<br />Panda Me: There's gotta be a way out!<br />Sloth Me: Look, here's something! 'ESSS-CA-PE'! I wonder what that means. It's funny, it's spelled just like the word 'escape'.<br />Panda Me: Let's go!<br />Tiger Shaun: Here's Shaunie!<br />Panda Me: Wait a minute.. you can read?!<br />Sloth Me: I can read? That's right, I can read!<br />Hyena Archer: He really doesn't mean it, y'know! He never even knew his owner!<br />Hyena Buffer: Don't fall off the thing!<br />Panda Me: Oh no, it's blocked!<br />Hyena Archer: No, Shaun. Focus!<br />Hyena Buffer: Sorry about--this, mate!<br />Hyena Archer: He's really--a nice guy!<br />Panda Me: I need to get that secret message!<br />Sloth Me: You want that secret message? Okay.<br />Panda Me: No, no, no, no, no, no!<br />Panda Me: Quick, grab the message!<br />Hyena Archer: Oh no. Shaun?
Tiger Shaun: What? (gets shocked and sees the shadow of Momma Dino steps in.) Run away! Run away!<br />Sloth Me: Aw, is the party over?<br />Momma Dino: (roars echoing into the mountain)
(In Temple of Zeus)<br />Hercules: You should have been there, father! I mangled the minotaur, grappled with the Gorgon, Just like Phil told me, I analyzed the situation, controlled my strength and kicked!Â The crowds went wild! Thank you, thank you.<br />Zeus: Hah! You're doin' great, son. You're doin' your old man proud!<br />Hercules: I am glad to hear you say that, father. I've been waiting for this day a long time.<br />Zeus: Hmm.. What day is that, son?<br />Hercules: The day I rejoin the gods.<br />Zeus: You've done wonderfully, you really have, my boy. You're just not there yet. You haven't proved yourself a true hero.<br />Hercules: But father, I've beaten every single monster I've come up against. I'm-I'm the most famous person in all of Greece. I'm-I'm an action figure!<br />Zeus: I'm afraid being famous is not the same as being a true hero.<br />Hercules: What more can I do?<br />Zeus: It's something you have to discover for yourself.<br />Hercules: But how can Iâ€”<br />Zeus: Look inside your heart.<br />(Lightning strikes and statue of Zeus becomes inanimate.)<br />Hercules: Father, wait!<br />(In the Cereal Court, Eddy Mudokon presides over an assembly for the entire body. He speaks through a megaphone.)<br />Eddy Mudokon: Thank you to the cereals for his invigorating lecture on how to just say "yakity yakity yak".<br />(Two things are standing next to Eddy, One is dressed up like a bearsuit and the other as Bugs Bunny costume.)<br />Eddy Mudokon: And now, without further ado, letâ€™s give a warm Cereal Factory to the winner of our "New Mascot" contestâ€¦ the--<br />(Lucy bursts through the double-doors of the stage.)<br />Eddy Mudokon: --legoman?<br />(The cereal mascots gasp as Lucy marches forward.)<br />Lucy: Thatâ€™s right. Iâ€™m the new mascot. So letâ€™s really try and beat the other guysâ€¦ at whatever it is theyâ€™re doing.<br />(The rock band plays Deep Purple's "Smoke on the Water".)<br />Eddy Mudokon: That's ginormous, This is indeed all a bit unorthodox.<br />(Without breaking stride, Lucy grabs Eddy Mudokon's megaphone.)<br />Lucy: Attention all cereal mascots, Do you know what Hades became evil?<br />(The Cereal Mascots murmuring.)<br />Lucy: What if Hercules kisses Megara?<br />Sonny: Excuse me, lady, Can you tell me what where my Cocoa Puffs is?<br />Lucy: Not now, Sonny.<br />Sonny: Oh.<br />Lucy: Question! Why does the Lucky Charms go home? Why doesn't he stay with the Trix rabbit taking the Trix Cereal?<br />The Trix Rabbit: Yes! Yeah! (Dances around then he shakes Tony's head) Oh, better luck next time, buddy. (Cheers as he runs to the stage.) Yeah! All right! (He gets tripped by Lucy.) Ow.<br />Lucy: Silly rabbit, Trix are for bad things.<br />The Trix Rabbit: Don't tell me again, I've promise!<br />Lucy: Pfff. (Mocking) "Don't tell me again, I've promise", I'm getting nauseous, Blah, blah, blah... Right, so, Who is?<br />(The cereal mascots all pointâ€¦ to the Disco Ball, where Fred Flintstone hangs helplessly. Lucy turn and look up and see Fred Flintstone getting tied up on the top of a disco ball and gets mad.)<br />Fred Flintstone: Oh, I'm stuck there. BARNEY!!!!<br />(The cereal mascots laugh.)<br />Lucy: (groans madly)<br />(In the front row, Cookie Crisp Wolf bumps fists with Cookie Crisp Dog.)<br />Cookie Crisp Wolf: Classic, pal.<br />Chef Wendell: I can't believe that I've saw him.<br />Barney: (sitting, carrying a box of popcorn) Hey, I brought extra butter.<br />(Lucy opens the front door to reveal Jean LaFoote.)<br />Jean LaFoote: Eh, have you seen about this? For cartoon characters into it?<br />Lucy: No.<br />(Lucy throws a cereal box into Jean LaFoote's head and slams the door.)<br />Lucy: Right then, So, you all coming with me! We'll bring them in for court martial.<br />Sugar Bear: That won't be necessary! We've recruited a few extra thumbs for you, Lucy.<br />Lucy: Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle.<br />Sugar Bear: (Starts singing) Canâ€™t get enough of Super Golden Crispâ€¦ Itâ€™s got the crunch with-- (He get hit by the tree, Sugar Bear is painful.) ...Punch. (collapses)<br />Tony: Oh, I doubt that.<br />(The cereal mascots cheers.)<br />Lucy: Enough lollygagging. Let's get to work. There'll be three groups. Group Cerean will do sheet metal fabrication. Group Things will do sheet metal fabrication. Group Towels, (disgusted) Yech, that's disgusting.<br />Toucan Sam: What about Kellogg's?<br />Lucy: Right, right, okay then, Group Kellogg's, craft services. Any questions? (Tony raises his hand.)<br />Tony: They're grrrrrrrreat!<br />Lucy: Good! Let's get to work. (The cereal mascots cheers and runs away. Buzz Bee lands on Lucy's right shoulder.) I'd like to kiss you, Little bee.<br />Buzz Bee: All right, but you're so lovely.<br />Lucy: (smoochs Buzz Bee's lips while Buzz Bee is becaming shy.)<br />Buzz Bee: Aww!<br />(In the city, a carriage passes past rich gates.)<br />Guide: On your left is Hercules' villa. My next stop is the Pecs and Flex gift shop where you can pick up the Great Hero's 30-minute workout scroll "Buns of Bronze"<br />(inside the villa, Hercules is posing for a picture on a vase, dressed in the skin of cat Garfield)<br />Phil: At 1:00 you got a meeting with king Augeas. He's got a problem with his stables. I'd advise you not to wear your new sandals.<br />Hercules: Phil?<br />Artist: I told you, don't move!<br />Phil: D.G.R., the Drughters of the Greek Revolution.<br />Hercules: Phil?<br />Phil: At 3:00 you gotta get a girdle from some amazons!<br />Hercules (dropping club and shield) Phil, what's the point?<br />Artist: Duh!<br />Phil: Oh, please.<br />Hercules: What's going on?<br />Phil: Well blow me down, kid!<br />Artist: You got it, dude!<br />Phil: Cut it out.<br />Artist: Oh Mylanta!<br />Phil: No way, Jose.<br />Hercules: Aww nuts.<br />Artist: Well pin a rose on your nose.<br />Phil: Watch the hair!<br />Hercules: Talk to me.<br />Phil: Whoa, baby!<br />Artist: You're in big trouble mister.<br />Phil: Capiche?<br />Artist: Whatever.<br />Hercules: Have mercy.<br />Phil: How rude.<br />Artist: Chill out, dude.<br />Yook: Nerdbombers!<br />(Hercules, Phil and Artist screams.)<br />Artist: THAT'S IT!!!<br />Phil: Keep your toga on, pal.<br />(Artist throws the paints on Phil, making him look like a clown and leaves.)<br />Yook: Oh, that is got hurt.<br />Phil: What do you mean, "what's the point?" You wanna go to Olympus, don't ya?<br />Hercules: Yeah, but this stuff doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere.<br />(He throws the skin of Garfield to Phil)<br />Phil: (wiping the paint off his face with it) You can't give up now, I'm counting on ya'.<br />Hercules: I gave this everything I had.<br />Phil: Listen to me, kid. I seen 'em all. And I am tellin' you, and this is the honest-to-Zeus truth, you got somethin' I never seen before.<br />Hercules: Really?<br />Phil: I can feel it right down to these stubby bow legs of mine. There is nothin' you can't do, kid.<br />(Door opens and the minions cheers)<br />Kevin Minion: Cap!<br />Phil: Hey, watch it! Watch it! Watchâ€”<br />The Minions: (repeatedly) Cap! Cap! Cap! Cap!<br />Hercules: Phil, help!<br />Phil: Okay, escape plan beta.<br />Hercules: Gotcha.<br />(Phil blows whistle, The minions look at him for a moment and Hercules disappears.)<br />Mel Minion: Hey, donde feila pata?<br />Phil: There he goes! On the verranda!<br />(The minions run away, Phil too, but when door closes, Megara appears from behind it, she walks and sees Hercules' toes under a curtain.)<br />Megara: Let's see, what could be behind curtain number one?<br />Hercules: Meg!<br />Megara: It's all right. The sea of raging hormones has ebbed.<br />Hercules: Gee, i-i-it's great to see you. I-I-I missed you.<br />Megara: (dropping on a couch) So, this is what heroes do on their days off.<br />Hercules: I am no hero...<br />Megara: Sure you are. Everybody in Greece thinks you're the greatest thing since they put the pocket in pita.<br />Hercules: (chuckles) I know. It's-it's crazy you know, I can't go anywhere without being mobbed, I meanâ€”<br />Megara: Ah. You sound like you could use a break. Think your nanny goat would go berserk if you played hooky this afternoon?<br />Hercules: Oh gee. I-I don't know, uh, Phil's got the rest of the day pretty much booked.<br />Megara: Ah, Phil, Shmill.. Just follow me. Out the window, round the dumbbells, you lift up the back wall and we're gone.
(The scene cuts to Enid's House, Emmet enters the room. While, Wilhamena shows up.)
Wilhamena: Aren't you Brickowski? The special one?
Me: I am. Yes, I'm Emmet...
Wilhamena: I thought I recognized you. My name is Wilhamena.
Me: Oh yes? How did we come here?
Wilhamena: Do you mind if I sit down for a while-
Me: No, but I expect my wife in a few minutes if you don't mind explaining your presence to her!
Wilhamena: Of course! That's her thing? over there at the other table-
Me: I CAN'T AFFORD WHERE IT MEANS!
Wilhamena: But I thought Bernard wasn't there at all.
Me: Oh, well that makes everything all right, doesn't it? Sit down!
Wilhamena: Thank you.
Me: Uh, your name is, err-
Wilhamena: Wilhamena. I'm Enid's mother.
Me: Emmet Brickowski, hm- oh yes! Of course. Your husband was having some trouble with one of his inventions a few years ago. I handled the case for him.
Wilhamena: Yes, I know. That's why I want to speak to you now.
Me: Well, I'm not practicing anymore, lady. You see I retired-
Wilhamena: Please Mr. Emmet, I need you.
Me: Oh? what seems to be the trouble?
Wilhamena: It's an H word. He disappeared about family and I haven't heard from him. Not a word. I'm so hungry now. I need blood.
Me: Oh, brother. What a waste!
Wilhamena: Is something wrong?
Me: Oh, I wouldn't if I were you. After all he's an inventor. When he gets an idea he wants to work on, it's only natural that he should hide away somewhere. He's done it before-
Wilhamena: Yes, but never for every week!
Me: Did you see him before he left?
Wilhamena: No. The thing was the only one he spoke to. Well, Bingo and a donkey- she's friend's secretary.
Me: A donkey? oh yes, I believe I've met her. And Bernard is your husband's lawyer, isn't he?
Me: His lawyer and his secretary both speak to him before he leaves, but no one knows where he went-
Wilhamena: He wouldn't tell them.
Me: What about Enid? He wouldn't tell her either?
Wilhamena: No, Enid and Bernard aren't they haven't seen each other for sometime.
Me: Oh, I see. Well, I don't know just what I can do for you. Why don't you speak to Charlie? Maybe he's heard from your husband and forgotten to let you know-
Wilhamena: Oh. Well, I'll call him now.
Me: That's a girl. Let me know how it turns out, will you?
Wilhamena: Of course! (He gets up) I'll be back in a few minutes! (walks away)
Me: I'll be here.
(Emmet heard George sleeps with crazy noises at under the table.)
Me: (sniffs, He looks down at George) That's nasty. (pokes George's nose, Suddenly, George woke up quickly)
George: What's going on!? Where am l? l saw a vampire and-- l saw a vampire and.... Am l dead?
Me: Not yet! But seeing how that is Wilhamena--
George: What's Wilhamena doing?
Me: Only an Vampire mother.
George: Vampire mother??? Did he get you too?
Me: You don't see me sleeping, do you, pal? This was my apology.
George: Your apology?
Me: Yeah, Mount Olympus, okay? These are the gods. This is where l reside. (chuckles) Nobody's hunting this squirrel.
George: Really? Well, then help me. Please? Look, no one's looking!
Me: Ain't gonna be able to do it.
George: What are we gonna do? l don't wanna be a meat!
Me: Calm down. Ain't gonna happen.
George: lt's not?
Me: Not with that thing. Look at your hands.
George: l don't have a problem with-- (gasps and shocked) My.... lt's.... l'm a Squirrel. Don't look at me. Don't look at me. l'm hideous. l'm a monster.
Me: Oh, brother.
George: It warns me as well, It's happening again!
Me: (To the audience) Well, I think we need a little bit of help.
George: (climbs in Emmet's hair) Don't you need any bit of help, He's nuts!
Me: (To George) Wip-pip bull "Whoopee Cushion™"?! Would you just get off my hair?
George: No no no, I am not getting off on his hair!
Me: Will you get it off my hair!?
(George yanked it out of Emmet's hair, who can't get off in George.)
George: I'm stuck at the hair! I can't even to see the vampire mother, yet!
(Emmet had launched George onto his had and George attacked Emmet for once.)
George: Why did I find the place here!?
Me: Stop it, get it off my hair!
George: That's not gonna happen who can't getting off!
Me: WHY, CAN'T, YOU... (demonically) GET OFF!!!!!!!! (grabs George's tail)
George: Oh please, forgive what I give! (Silenced) Come on, l'm begging you. Please, please. Just untie me. Come on. Please, please, please?
Me: (throws George to Outside) Hey, go on now. Scamper on back to the herd valley, little buddy. Little squirrel.
(George was pinned down by his sharp teeth. George unpinned himself.)
George: Buddy? He called me buddy. (He looked for his acorn, which fell from the sky on his head. Embracing his nut.) Oh, there's my acorn! I got to go then. I've get out of this house right now. I've got to go to THIS one! (George got up, no worse for wear and prepared to marches off, And starts marching off to mountain of Bungo Valley.) Ladies and gentlemen, George, has left the haunted house!
(Back to Hercules, again)
(To evening, outdoors...)
Hercules: Wow. What a day. First that restaurant by the bay.
Hercules: And then that, that play, that, that Oedipus thing. Man! I thought I had problems.
(Both chuckle and such, two little birds sitting near turn into Pain and Panic to speak to Meg.)
Panic: Psst! Stop foolin' around!
Pain: Yeah. Get the goods, sister.
Panic: Wasn't lie!
(Hercules turns back and they turn into birst and tweet innocently.)
Hercules: I didn't know that playing hooky could be so much fun.
Megara: Yeah. Niether did I.
Hercules: Thanks, Meg.
Megara: Oh.. Don't that me just yet. Oh! (She falls into Hercules' arms)
Hercules: Oops, careful.
Megara: Sorry. Weak ankles.
Hercules: Oh yeah? Well, maybe you better sit down for a while. (He carries her on a bench and they sit down)
Megara: So, uh, do you have any problems with things like.. this? (She stretched her leg and holds her foot right before Hercules' face)
Megara: Weak ankles, I mean..
Hercules: Oh. Uh, no. Not really.
Megara: (moving closer to him) No weaknesses whatsoever? No trick knee?
Megara: (moving even more close) Ruptured... disks?
Hercules: No. I'm I'm afraid I'm, uh.. fit as a fiddle. (He finally stands up from the bench)
Megara: Wonderboy, you are perfect.
Hercules: Thanks. (He sends a coin jumping on a water in a fountain and it breaks the arms off the statue of Kiki) Whoops.
Megara: It looks better that way. No, it really does.
Hercules: You know, when I was a kid I, I would have given anything to be exactly like everybody else.
Megara: You wanted to be petty and dishonest?
Hercules: Everybody's not like that.
Megara: Yes they are.
Hercules: You're not like that.
Megara: How do you know what I'm like?
Hercules: All I know is.. You're the most amazing person with... weak ankles I've ever met. (Megara steps back and gets pricked on an arrow of a tiny statue of Sid) Meg, when I'm with you I-I don't feel so... alone.
Megara: Sometimes it's better to be alone.
Hercules: What do you mean?
Megara: Nobody can hurt you.
Hercules: Meg? I would never ever hurt you.
Megara: And I don't wanna hurt you, so... let's both do ourselves a favor and.. stop this... um.. before... we--
Me: (on the distance, yelling) How big is this ocean? (To audience) Individuals are too long.
(Their lips met for the kiss, but the moment before it happens bright light flashes into their eyes. It is Phil, on Pegasus, impersonating police helicopter.)
Phil: All right! Break it up! Break it up! Party's over! I been lookin' all over this town!
Megara: Calm down, mutton man! It was all my fault.
Phil: You're already on my list, sister, so don't make it worse!
(Pegasus snorts at Megara, she snorts back, turning the light off.)
Phil: And as for you, ya bum, you're gonna go to the stadium and you're gonna be put through the workout of your life! Now get on the-- (He farts) ...Horse.
Hercules: Okay, okay.
Megara: I'm sorry.
Hercules: Ah, he'll get over it.
(He bends a huge tree casually and picks a flower off it, gives it to Meg and kisses her in the cheek.)
Phil: Move! Move, move, move, move, move! Move! (on Pegasus) Whoo! Ya-eee! Hey, watch it, watch it! Whoo! Watch it! Keep your goo-goo eyes on the- (A branch finally hits Phil and he falls on the ground) That's it. Next time, I drive.
(Megara sits alone and smells the flower.)
Megara: Oh. what's the matter with me? You'd think a girl would learn.
(In the Chuck's Underground, Chuck is awakened gradually by the muffled sound of "I Won't Say I'm In Love" pounding in from above.)
Chuck: (waking up, groaning) Uhh. Unhh. (He gets up, fetches a baseball bat, and uses it to bang on the ceiling.) Hey, keep it down up there! Will you!?
Chucky: (waking up) We have neighbors? We should go say hello.
Chuck: Noisy neighbors. There go the property values.
Chucky: That's not gonna happen for sure.
(Back another to Hercules)
Hades: Hey, what's the buzz, huh, Meg? What is the weak link in the Wonderboy's chain?
Megara: Get yourself another girl, I'm through.
Hades: I'm sorry. Do you mind runnin' that by me again? I mustÂ have had a chunk of brimstone wedged in my ear or something.
Megara: Then read my lips! Forget it!
Hades: Meg, Meg, Meg, my sweet deluded little minion. Aren't we forgetting one teensy-weensy, but ever so crucial little, tiny detail? Eh? Just in case, But I've got an say one simple dignity of all kinds..... (He bursts into flame) I OWN YOU!!!!
(Phil comes in on the ground.)
Phil: Oh. I got another horn here..
Hades: (to Meg) You work for me!
Phil: That kid's gonna be doin' laps for a month.
Hades: If I say, "sing", you say, "hey, name that tune" If I say, "I want Wonderboy's head on a platter" you say--
Megara: Medium or well done.
Phil: Oh! I knew that dame was trouble. This is gonna break the kid's heart.
Megara: I'll work on that.
(Phil got snatched away by Emmet)
Hades: I'm sorry.. You hear that sound? That's the sound of your freedom fluttering out the window forever.
Megara: I don't care. I'm not gonna help you hurt him.
Hades: I can't believe you're getting so worked up about some guy.
Megara: This one is different. He's honest, and-and he's sweet--
Megara: He would never do anything to hurt me.
Hades: He's a guy!
Megara: Besides, oh, oneness, you can't beat him. He has no weaknesses, he's gonna--
Hades: I think... he does, Meg. I truly think... he does. Why didn't ever ask me again?
Hades: (facepalms) Oh, bother.
(Cut to Charlie in Happy Hotel, Blinx Cat is in top of Happy Hotel building with the fiddle, Blinx sees the cow jumped over the moonball)
Charlie: Hey! Come here! Come back here this instant! Get down there!
Demon #1: Madam, you can't bring that cat in here! Cats aren't allowed! I'm very sorry above you-
Charlie: I'll get this idiotic cat. Blinx! Blinx, come here boy! Here! Down boy, down-
Demon #1: Madam, it isn't only her cat! If we allowed everyone!
Me: (appear) Oh, here you are. I'd even to see that one. What if minds there's a cat who climbed?
Charlie: You stupid cat, Blinx! Quiet, boy, quiet! Hello, Emmet. I hear you brought the flower.
Me: I didn't bring him, he brought me! I think the demon's mad at me.
Demon #1: Madam, I'm afraid you have to take the cat outside!
Charlie: It's alright, it's her cat? and it's my husband-
Me: You might have mentioned me first!
Charlie: Oh, really?
Demon #1: But Mr.--
Me: You didn't know where I am!
Demon #1: But Mr. Emmet, are you sure that?
Charlie: Of course I'm sure. He's well trained. He'll behave himself.
Demon #1: I know, but he might scratch someone--
Charlie: No, only me, he only never bites me.
Me: Yes, he's fuzzy about what he never eats.
Charlie: Go ahead Joe; I'll be responsible for him.
Demon #1: Very well sir. If you say so, sir. (walks away)
Me: (looks at Charlie) Charlie?
Charlie: (looks at Emmet) Emmet? I thought I know you! (Hugs Emmet)
Me: (hugs back) Oh!
Charlie: I'm so glad to see you! So, There you are my dear. See what an influential husband you've got?
Me: You do have a certain standing with a demon--
Wilhamena: (offscreen) Oh, Emmet?
Me: Anyone but her! (Emmet grabs Charlie's hands, He runned inside to Enid's House, once again, And finally stop running) Uhhh, yes Wilhamena?
Wilhamena: May I introduce my fianc?? Lenox, Emmet Brickowski.
Charlie: How are you?
Lenox: (as a Teensies) Welcome, my liege.
Charlie: Any luck, Wilhamena?
Wilhamena: Yes! He's just around the corner.
Charlie: Your husband?
Wilhamena: No, no. Bernard.
Lenox: We're going to see him now, my liege.
Charlie: Oh fine, fine-
Charlie: Yes, my dear? Oh, I beg your pardon, Alastor, Lenox, my friend-
Me: How are you?
Wilhamena: How are you? I'm sorry, we have to rush, but you'll excuse us Emmet?
Me: Of course.
Charlie: We're staying at The Anomaly for a couple of weeks. Why don't you drop around?
Wilhamena: Thanks. We will. Goodbye.
Lenox: Goodbye, My liege.
Me & Charlie: (Walks away)
Charlie: Pretty girl.
Me: If you like babies.
Charlie: You've got a type?
Me: Only you, pal. Thing with color pinks.
Charlie: Who is she?
Me: I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell you. Wilhamena is really Enid's Mother. You see, it was summer in Queen Slay, and I was so young. I didn't know what I was doing. We were all like that on my mother's side.
Charlie: By the way, how is your mother's side?
Me: Much better, thanks.
Charlie: So, who is she really, Emmet?
Me: Wilhamena. Mother of Enid. I was working on a case for every demons. Hades will rule all.
Charlie: Charming. What's the matter now?
Me: Bernard disappeared. Wilhamena's afraid something happened to him.
Charlie: Has anything happened to him?
Me: My new girlfriend! How do I know? Funny though, that secretary of his ought to know something-
Charlie: Secretaries usually do. Who is she?
Me: Queen Slay. Smart girl, Slay. Always suspected she had some kind of hold on to singing through the Sydney's Club. That's why he kept her on.
Charlie: Maybe you ought to give her a ring-
Me: What for???
Charlie: Ohh, just to say hello.
Me: Hm, maybe.
Charlie: Want a flower?
Me: What? No-no, I've got one. I'll be right back. I'll be back, Charlie! (Dashes away)
Charlie: Well, Something's different about Emmet Brickowski...
(Camera switches to Emmet Brickowski, rushes through in Hazbin city, as the "Master Maqui" by "Rodrigo y Gabriela" music plays)
Me: Excuse me, pardon me, Get outta my way, I gonna find Queen Slay in Sydney's Club!
Demon #5: Watch where ya goin', ya numbhead!
Demon #3: Oh, my!
Demon #8: Hey, watch it!
Me: Comin' through.
Demon #14: Butter weasel!
Demon #13: (To Demon #14) Nincompoop!
Demon #14: (To Demon #13) Belching beast of burden!
Demon #13: (To Demon #14) Brud!
Me: Goin' do, Goin' do...
Demon #15: (Getting angry) Hey, bub! You'd didn't grade for every own grades!
("Tilus Struman's Plan" scene to work in progress.)
Me: (runs to Sydney's Club)
Vanity Karess: How can I help you?
Me: I'm looking for Queen Slay, Did you ever to find him or not to find him?
Vanity Karess: Hmm.
Me: Well.. Are you the owner of Sydney's Club?
Vanity Karess: Yes, indeed, of course.
Me: Then I got goin' do. Whenever what is.
Vanity Karess: Now go on, and have a rest. Join the club and have a goodnight.
Me: Oh, thanks!
Vanity Karess: You're welcome. Now join.
Me: (walks to the other door)
Vanity Karess: (To audience) This I like. (Blow kisses to the audience)
(Dissolves to inside a club, Chump is still sitting at Crikey's bar)
Chump: (To Crikey, cleaning) Ay, lady...
Crikey: (As a demon, sigh) What?
Chump: Get me a cowabunga beak pete's?
Crikey: Friend, I told you to get something! It's not all a thing you live!
Chump: I don’t think it’s the beauty of mind which signals for false truth rather than being non-functional!
Crikey: (groans madly) Would you stop it for one minute?
Chump: I hope not.
(The camera pans over to Wunk who turns around to reveal a microphone in her hand. Wunk starts to sing "When You're Smiling" by Louis Armstrong)
Crikey: (Handing Chump one) There, happy yet?
Chump: Ooh! (Chump and Frunkie gleefully drinks a beer rapidly and get everything on Crikey)
Chump and Frunkie: (burps)
Chump: Boy, Frunkie, that hit the spot. I'm feeling better already.
(Emmet enters the club)
Me: Well, I guess I gotta find him.
Me: Oh, that's a puffball.
Smidgeen: (shooks to "No")
Me: Are you not a puffball? Is it you, Smidgeen?
Smidgeen: (nods to "Yes")
Me: Mhmm. Have you seen Queen Slay?
Smidgeen: (Gestures to the other back)
Me: Oh, really?
Me: Thanks! I'll call you back.
Smidgeen: (flying away)
Me: (walks off to the other, chuckled) What a Wildernuts. (Seeing Barliot and Chize are playing pool game, while Barliot drinks a cup)
Chize: (To Barliot) Ay, Barliot, What do you call a pistachio on a spaceship? An astro-nut!
Barliot: (laughs gently, british accent) Comedy.
Me: Oh. (Seeing Chump, Crikey & Frunkie)
Chump: (To Crikey) (singsong) Lady!
Crikey: Will you shut up?
Chump: (slurring) Lay-dee. (yelling angrily and pounding on the table, The bowls are stacked sideways) Lady!
Crikey: Why do I always get the nuts?
Me: That's no good. Not good at all.
Xernamorph: (Is still sitting) Yeah, well I'm gonna build my own alien egg! With facehugger aaaaannd friendly guys! Actually, forget the thing, On the other hand, and the Alien movies. Ahhhh forget the whole thing!
Dog Me: (As "Shaun the Sheep" style) Hmm... (writing in the clipboard)
Sheep Me: Hey, what you doing here?
Dog Me: Writing in the clipboard.
Sheep Me: You guess right... (To Xernamorph) Baaaaaaa!!!!!
Xernamorph: Oh shut up, I'm trying to drink beer.
("Emmet meets Queen Slay" scene to work in progress.)
(Cut to a Bungo Valley in Sunset, Jazzy is looking through a tin can with both lids cut off, using it as a telescope. A rumbling ice dam noise startles him.)
(Male scream is heard. He darts from rocks to big rocks before rushing out.)
Jazzy: Prepare to be terminated, solar devil creature scum! Gyah!
(Jazzy comes upon something. We only see it's shadow of Sigma, however. It seems to be vaguely thing in shape, and it is very large, judging by Sigma's shadow length. The camera zooms in for a close-up of Jazzy's frightened face, and then only his eye.)
Sigma: Who do you think you are, Mucky pup, little baby? I created by Dr Flug. (points the cyborg arm at Jazzy) I'll let you before when it's done for you. Hatbots? (20 Hatbot Sentinels lands in. He prepares to shoot at Jazzy)
Jazzy: A supervillain? Oh, no. (Then it goes white.)
(Fizzle is pacing back and forth, worried, when he hears a scream in the distance.)
Fizzle: Jazzy? Hmm. (He becomes more worried. We then see Yackso working on a big Gyrocopter.)
Jazzy: (screaming again) LIVER!
Fizzle: Yackso! Did you hear that? They're closer now. (pointing to the gyrocopter) Hey! Is this thing ready yet?
Yackso: Well, actually Fizz, since it's just a prototype, and still in need of-- (A gyrocopter gets breaks in pieces.) Ah! (sigh) Alright, alright. (He gestures to the rocket) Over there-- (Fizzle gets in) Fizzle!
Fizzle: There's only one seat in this thing. Why'd ya just put in one seat, Yack-yack? Yakety-yak? Kitty kitty? Eh? Hah!
Yackso: Well I told you. This is the prototype. When this is properly tested, then I'll build the real one...
Fizzle: Yeah whatever. Let's go, Yakety. Liftoff!
Yackso: But Fizz, I still need to--
Fizzle: I SAID FIRE THE ROCKET!!!!!!
Yackso: Fine. But you better wear this. (He puts a colander on Fizzle's head.)
(Yackso gets the rocket ready. Apparently the pressure is added through a foot pump.)
Fizzle: Oh yeah.
Yackso: (sigh) 3. 2. 1. Ignition! (He fires the rocket.)
Fizzle: (as the rocket heads up into the sky) YEEEEE-HAAAAAAAWWW! (The rocket disintegrates around him, and he's left sitting in a chair in midair.) YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Yackso: (calmly) Oh, better test the parachute.
Woody Woodpecker: (as inside the parachute) Hey, what is going on here in this place? Get me out!
Yackso: (the parachute opens) Well, at least that worked.
Woody Woodpecker: Not me.
Yackso: (He tosses the parachute remote to the ground, and the button is pressed. The parachute subsequently detaches from the chair, sending Fizzle plummeting to Earth again.)
Fizzle: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! (he lands on Yackso) Hey Yakety yak, the rocket needs work....
Yackso: (feeling in exasperated for anger, yelling in echoes) IT'S A PROTOTYPE!!!
(Jazzy rushes up.)
Jazzy: The robots are coming! The robots are coming! (To audience) It's apparently for Hatbots!
Yackso & Fizzle: Huh?
(They turn to see Sigma and 20 Hatbot Sentinels appear out of nowhere. The toons run away screaming, Sigma laughed evil.)
Sigma: Many evil things there are that your strong walls and bright swords do not stay! And I will suffocate to this land! Now... No one escapes the evil!
Me: (Marches in, singing) I've got a lover, skip to my lou. My beautiful joke, that's what it's going to do. I'm gonna eat for some bread and butter, skip to my lou.... myyyyyyy... (He suddenly gets is frozen on the spot by Sigma)
Sigma: (He smirked) Pretty boy, what's yours?
Sigma: (walks closer to Emmet) Something you arrived here?
Me: ...yyyyyyyyyyyyy-- (Headshakes) Oh, oh, yes.. Uh...
Sigma: (moves closer to Emmet) All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
Me: Um... That would be, uh... Deliberately who did not disobeyed?
Sigma: Oh, yes. It does.
(The Toons are hiding in the van.)
Sigma: (offscreen) It was only for bad things tonight.
Jazzy: (describing the scene) The valley seemed eerily calm, as the approach of villains was awaited fearlessly by the three brave outlaws. (Fizzle and Yackso are seen huddled beside him, quivering in fear.)
Me: (Offscreen) You mean precious?
Sigma: (Offscreen) Oooh! That's nice.
Me: (Offscreen) Hatbots, Go get this idiots in there.
Fizzle: Is Jazzy for real?
Jazzy: (Shushing him, he looks out again to see the Hatbots.) They approach.
(Jazzy peeps out. He holds three fingers in front of Fizzle and Yackso. He then lowers one, signaling two. The countdown reaches one, and then Jazzy gives the command.)
(The Toons fire their guns as Fizzle throws grenades. Miraculously, this seems to work.)
Jazzy: (shouting descriptions) Vaporizing bubble grenades! Quasic terra lazers! Sub-machine zero rifle power! (The hatbots are shown taking damage. Until Hatbots are dodging.) HIT 'EM HARD!
Me: Well? How is this feel to be evil like that? Dr Flug created you?
Sigma: Yes, I know what excepted...
Me: You know what it exactly what does the things is? I'd recommendly for--
Dr Flug: Emmet, you're not going to find anytimes with your face buried in that rough sandals.
Me: Aw, gee whiz!
Dr Flug: Emmet! What have I told you about swearing on this pathetic things? I will not have it.
Dr Flug: Emmet!
Dr Flug: Well, I never!
Me: Blah, blah, blah! (To audience) Exceptions authority. (To the Toons) Knuckle-heads!
(The Toons pause, and one last can hits to 1 Hatbot Sentinel's head.)
Me: (marching up to them) You all knuckleheads, What are you taking of?
Jazzy, Yackso and Fizzle: Uh...nothing?
Me: Oh yeah?! (pulls out the Evil Ray) Well eat this!
(Emmet fires the Evil ray, summoning Monstrous Black Hat.)
Monstrous Black Hat: (roars at the Toons)
Me: Now you'll soon to see, You all knuckleheads gonna get stopped them. (Demonically) It's your fault. (Laughed evil)
Yackso: Not good! Not good! (Monstrous Black Hat and the Hatbots block out the camera, and the scene closes with the Toons screaming.)
Me: (voiceover) Don't you mean that the scene who closed? It's not probably where it's nothing can do! (Starts rewinding the scene and finally stopped the scene)
Me: You all knuckleheads, What are you taking of?
Jazzy, Yackso and Fizzle: Uh...nothing?
Me: You don't regret so much that for a little Chimpanzees to a mongrel botch of nature with a beef-witted thimble and a tedious coward! Or my boss said to you all knuckleheads.... YOUR VALUE DOESN'T EVEN AMOUNT TO THE JUICE SQUEEZED FROM AN OLD MAN'S SOILED TAMPON!!!!! Or then it be... He shoots you all.
Sigma: (Goes behind at the toons and preparing to shoots green beams at Jazzy, Yackso and Fizzle)
Fizzle: Oh no, I think this is the end!
Yackso: Not good! Not good!
Jazzy: It's the end of Me, Yackso and Fizzle...
Me: (To the Audiences) That thing is really need to help. (walks to Sigma) Wait wait wait.
Sigma: (stops shooting) Huh?
Me: If you want to kidnap them, You'll send to the prison at Black Hat Organization.
Sigma: Okay, I think I got it.
Me: Right then.
Hatbot Sentinel: Capture. (grabs Jazzy, Yackso and Fizzle's legs)
Jazzy, Yackso and Fizzle: Huh?
Jazzy: It grabs my leg.
(The hatbots walks away)
Dr Flug: Uh, wait for me! (Follows the hatbots)
Me & Sigma: (looks together)
Me: So, wanna give some cyborg arm?
Sigma: Ooh, babe, That's nice. (grabs Emmet's hand and walks inside the rock cave)
Sigma: I'd like to see you in the dark knight.
Me: Affirmative! Only affirmative!
Sigma: I'll let you an sexy heroic legoman....
Me: Oh yeah!
Sigma: (giggles) I am a supervillain~!
Me: Oh, come here you... (Kisses Sigma's lips)
Sigma: Oh my~! Emmet, you're beautiful!
Me: (To Audience) As I say, Do have something when it's got.
(Wipe to Yix (as the Weasel) riding Amondi (as the Bear) to a new unspecified location in Nighttime.)
Yix: Cheer up, bear-boy! (brushes a branch aside) Woah there, mighty branch! The mountain valleyway's around here somewhere.
Amondi: (British accent) You know, Yix, I once came across a place that might be just what you're looking for.
Yix: What's that?
Amondi: Bungo Valley.
Yix: That's the valleyway!
Amondi: Yes, yes, Actually.
Yix: Um, have you heard about Humpty Dumpty?
Amondi: An egg? and a hat?
Amondi: You know, Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men. Couldn't put Humpty together again. Does it that true?
Yix: You said it! Oh, If that... (Holds up a big book titled: "Nursery Rhymes for Full Storybook") This true! (Opens a big book and turning all pages)
Amondi: Um, what are you doing?
Yix: I gonna find in "592: Humpty Dumpty". (turns to page 592) Ah, found it!
Amondi: Oh, sure. You're opinion.
Yix: Right then, Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty couldn't fall in the 5th floor. But Humpty Dumpty have to sat on the Tallest High Tower Building in the city! Which it can.
Amondi: Um, okay?
Yix: Humpty suddenly hears a buzzing noise, BZZZZZZZZZZZZ--
Amondi: Will you stop that weird buzzing noises? I'm trying to walk.
Yix: Oh, sorry. Humpty suddenly didn't fall. But how did it happens? But Humpty Dumpty looks down to all the king's horses and all the king's men, While she can't fall when she got a parachute.
Amondi: Hm, is that true when it can jump?
Yix: Exactly, Like Batman.
Yix: But that's truly not it. Humpty Dumpty, Had a great fall for heights. And he tries to open the parachute, Then it worked.
Amondi: She opened the parachute?
Yix: Yes it does, Highly expect. The end. (closes the big book)
Amondi: Well, that was true, is it?
Yix: It does, If I noticed what I am a superstar from the oscars awards, With me in it!
Amondi: That is, uhhh... Definitely true? Why is this--
Yix: (Interrupt) I'm a realist, and I'm not gonna go chasing after something. We're almost there.
Amondi: But if you always go times all away through the valleys, how do you know when you're there?
Yix: I tell you why, It is nonsense.
Amondi: What about the Dinosaurs?
Yix: The dinosaurs gets extinct, to 200,000 years ago, The peoples digging to collect through the fossils!
Amondi: What for? What if all that before is?
Yix: That's what the time said the storybook who all the times for childrens. Well, Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, Catch a mouse by the dragon; If he squeals let him go and Eeena, meena, mina, mo, All that suddens. If I'll tell you how I know. We're there! (gestures stubbornly at the surroundings: Bungo Valley) This is a lovely spot. Lovely. Rustic. Picturesque. Home sweet home, Amondi-bear. Mm-hmm. Home sweet ho-- (A chunk of mammoth skull that he's leaning against gives way, and he collapses inside) Aah! Whoop! Ah ha ha ha! I mean, sure... it needs a little work. But it's got good bones. Ha ha ha! After all... this is an mammoths. And who would ever come to an mammoths? ...Aaaahh!
(A roar precedes the arrival of Momma Dino, leaping over the mammoth tusk where Yix and Amondi had been, before diving out of the way just in time. As Momma Dino rushes off stage left, Emmet, Rex Dangervest, Sloth Emmet and Panda Emmet runs after him.)
Sloth Me: Why couldn't we get banished here?
Panda Me: Come on, We got to find away out of here!
Me: Wait for me! (breathes)
Rex Dangervest: Stay alive, No matter how long it takes... I will find you!
(Amondi and Yix watch wide-eyed from the sinus cavity of the mammoth skull)
Yix: (whispering) I see the dinosaur...
(Cut to the Stadium, Hercules is doing exercises.)
Hercules: Ha-ha! Whoo-hoo! (Phil walks sad) Hey, Phil! What happened to you?
Phil: Kid, we gotta talk.
Hercules: Oh, Phil, I just had the greatest day of my life! I-I can't stop thinking about Meg. She's something else.
Phil: Kid! I'm tryin' to talk to ya! Will you come down here and listen?
Hercules: Aw, how can I come down there when I'm feeling so up?
(He jumps up into clouds. Meanwhile, Pegasus mare appears and makes the Pegasus follow her. In a pen, the mare splits in two parts which turn into Yimbo and Sack)
(back on stadium)
Phil: Ah, very nice! What I'm trying to say is--
Hercules: That if it wasn't for you, I never would have met her. Oh, I owe ya big time. Little guy, I do.
Phil: Will you just knock it off for a couple of seconds?
Hercules: Rule #38, Come on, Phil, keep them up there, huh? Phil, I got two words for ya: Duck!
Phil: Listen to me! She's--
Hercules: A dream come true?
Phil: Not exactly.
Hercules: More beautiful then Aphrodite?
Phil: Aside from that!
Hercules: The most wonderful--
Phil: SHE'S FRAUD!!!! She's been playin' ya for a sap!
Hercules: Aw, come on. Stop kiddin' around.
Phil: I'm not kiddin' around.
Hercules: I know you're upset about today, but that's no reason toâ€”
Phil: Kid, you're missin' the point!
Hercules: The point is, I love her.
Phil: She don't love you.
Hercules: You're crazy.
Phil: She's nothin' but a two-timin'.
Hercules: Stop it!
Phil: no-good, lyin', schemin'.
Hercules: (hits Phil) Shut up! [Phil flies off and hits himself a little] Phil, I-- Oh, I'm, I'm sorry.
Phil: Okay, okay, that's it. You won't face the truth? Fine.
Hercules: Phil, wait. Where you going?
Phil: I'm hoppin' the first barge out of here. I'm goin' home.
Hercules: Fine! G-- Go! I don't-- I don't need you.
Phil: I thought you were gonna be the all-time champ. Not the all-time chump.
Hercules: My problems are just a little bit bigger than yours, Phil. All right. I couldn't tell you apart. So what?! Yeah, fine. Run away, Phil! Run away! That's what you do best! Just like back in Philoctetes!
Phil: I'm right here. But you can't tell that, right? Your friend hopes you enjoy your bigger-than-anyone-else's problems alone!
Hercules: Good, leave! I don't need you to help me solve my problems! You know what? You're a dime dozen! I can't tell which one's Phils! Oh, which one's Philoctetes? Wait a minute, Wait a minute. Oh, yeah, I don't care about your face to wrath for forgotten sakes!
Phil: Nice bum, you showoff!
Hercules: Phil, don't go.
Hades: Geez Louise! What got his goat, huh? Baboom. Name is Hades, Lord of the Dead. Hi. How ya doin'?
Hercules: Not now, okay?
Hades: Hey, hey, I only need a few seconds and I'm a fast talker, all right? See, I've got the major deal in the works. A real estate venture, if you will. And Herc, you little devil you, may I call you Herc? You seem to be constantly getting in the way of it.
Hercules: You've got the wrong guy.
Hades: Hear me out, ya little-- heh-heh. Just-- hear me out, okay? So I would be eternally grateful if you would just... take a day off from this hero business of yours. Geez, I mean, monsters, natural disasters. Phew You wait a day, okay?
Hercules: You're out of your mind.
Hades: Not so fast, because, ya see, I do have a little leverage... You might wanna know about.
(Hades snaps fingers and Bixo sings along to "The Great Debate" by "Randy Newman")
Bixo: (singing) I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus every time
Hades: No no, not that! (One clap and Bixo disappears) You know.. This fella is got annoyed to me. (groans) I'll try it again. (Snaps fingers again and then Megara appears)
Megara: Don't listen, Herc-- (She disappeared)
Hercules: Let her go!
Hades: Here's the trade-off. You give up your strength for about 24 hours, okay? Say, the next 24 hours and Meg here is free as a bird and safe from harm. We dance, we kiss, we schmooze, we carry on, we go home happy. What d'ya say? Come on.
Hercules: People are, are gonna get hurt, aren't they?
Hades: Nah! I mean, it's, you know, it's a possibility. It happens 'cause, you know, it's war, but what can I tell ya? Anyway, what do you owe these people, huh? Isn't Meg -- little smoochy face -- isn't she more important than they are? If I can say WOOGIE BOOGIE AND OOGIE BOOGIE!
Hercules: Stop it!
Hades: Isn't she?
Hercules: You gonna swear she'll be safe from any harm.
Hades: Fine, okay, I'll give you that one. Meg is safe, otherwise you get your strength right back, yadda-yadda, fine print, boilerplate, baboom. Okay? We're done, what d'ya say we shake on it? Hey, I really don't have, like, time to bat this around. I'm kind of on a schedule here, I got plans for September, SEPTEMBER?! No no no, It's August. Okay? I need an answer, like, now. Going once, going twice.
Hades: Yes, we're there! ...Keep waiting....
Hercules: What are you doing?
Hades: I'm playing in Waiting game, Did you know what I am?
Hercules: Oh, you? No no no no no no. I medicine through the combinations, Didn't you?
Hades: Wait for it, Hades.... Wait for it....
Hercules: A mortgage, A most of the motivation, Or you got responsibility for every time that NOT to give this one.
Hades: Well, yeah? But the mortgage isn't there, Not him!
Hercules: Oh yes, I expected..... (Silenced, and he starts to get furious) Cause you can't kidnap him but What did I rescue him, DOES IT!? HUH?!? HUH?!!?
Hades: Bam! (They shake hands and Hades takes strength of Hercules.) You may feel just a little queasy, it's kinda natural. Maybe you should sit down. Now you know how it feels to be just like everybody else. isn't it just peachy? Oh! You'll love this. One more thing. Meg, babe. A deal's a deal. You're off the hook. By the way, Herc. Is she not, like, a fabulous little actress?
Megara: Stop it.
Hercules: What do you mean?
Hades: I mean your little chickie-poo here was working for me all the time. Duh.
Hercules: You're-- you're lying!
Panic (as boy): Help! (coughs)
Pain (as boy): Jeepers, mister, you're really strong. (in normal voice) Ha-ha!
Hades: Couldn't have done it without you, sugar, sweetheart, babe.
Megara: No! It's not like that! I didn't mean to-- I-I couldn't-- I-- I'm so sorry.
Pain and Panic: Our hero's a zero! Our hero's a zero!
Hades: Well, gotta blaze. There's a while cosmos up there waiting for me with, hey, my name on it. So much for the preliminaries, and now on to the--
Tik: (shouting while running from Cereal Mascots with Forks and the weapons) AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! I thought you were a friends!
Hades: (sighs, tired) ...Main event.
(The stars are aligned and the gate to the bunch of cats opens.)
Hades: Brothers! Titans! Look at you.... in your.... cat prison?
Hades: (facepalms) Not again.
(The gate to the Titans opened again.)
Hades: Okay, okay... Let's try it again and again. Brothers! Titans! Look at you in your squalid prison! Who put you down there?
Hades: And now that I set you free, what is the first thing you are going to do?
Titans: Destroy him!
(Hades frees the Titans.)
Hades: Good answer. Vilely.
Lythos: Crush Zeus!
Hydros: Freeze him!
Pyros: Melt Zeus!
Stratos: Blow him away!
Kooki: Dance Zeus!
Kooki: Uh.... Hasta luego?
Titans: No! Zeus!
Hades: Uh, Guys? Olympus would be that way.
Hydros: Freeze him!
Hades: Hold it, bright eye.
Hades: I have a special job for you, my optic friend.
Cyclops: That's YOU in three weeks.
(In Olympus, Hermes sees the titans first.)
Hermes: Ah. Huh?
Lythos: Destroy Zeus!
Kooki: Dance Zeus!
Lythos: WILL YOU STOP IT!???
Hermes: What the...
Mudokon Me: What happened? What are you doing here, Hermes? You see the--
Hermes: Oh, we're in trouble! Oh, big trouble! I gotta-- (he zooms to Olympus) My Lord and Lady, the Titans have escaped. And they're practically at our gates!
Zeus: Sound the alarm! Launch an immediate counterattack! Go! Go!
Hermes: Gone, babe. I need to go here.
(Gods prepare to war.)
Areus: Charge! On to battle!
Zeus: (throwing lightnings at Lythos in vain) Yee-hah!
Mars: (getting sucked in by Stratos) You windbag!
Hades: (watching this) Boom, badda-boom, boom, boom! Hah! Hey, is it squirrel in here, or is that just me? (realizes) A nubber sabre-tooth squirrel SCRAT! Yowww!
(Scrat attacks him while Hades rockets into the air and lands a good distance away.)
Fred: (Offscreen) My leg!
(Cut to Bungo Valley, where Emmet rushes down to the wooden dam.)
Demon Crow #1: Stop, mortals! I'll have your hands for crystal, yellow street rat.
Me: (Looks back, then up, then at the crystal.) All this for a crystal??? (He climbs up at the top of a wooden dam) Is that all ya got?! Hah!
Demon Crow #3: Ohhh that immortal yellow legoman!
Demon Crow #2: Maybe you should believe to soul.
Demon Crow #3: What? No! I don't care, you mongrel fool!
Demon Crow #1: I swear to forsaken god.. (echoes) YOU GET DOWN THERE, MORTAL!!!
Me: Nope! (Grabs a surfboard) I've got a surfboard to the flood, It'll we able to be dam breaks to bursts in for ya! (Laughed snoredly, When see Demon Crows disappeared.) Oh. Where what stupid crow is? (Getting surrounded by Demon Crows.)
Demon Crow #3: Hold it right there, mortal, Or I will cut you in half!
K.O.: Dummy crows!
(The demon crows looks fastly at K.O.)
Demon Crows: Huh?
K.O.: That I felt said Dummy crows.
(Demon Crows begins bursts to laugh)
K.O.: Alright, That's it! (Screams and grabs the bowling ball and throws it.)
(A demon crow's head turns into a bowling pin, The bowling ball hits the demon crows and some red bowling pins and a "strike" symbol appears.)
Me: What a minor.
Po: Little help here?
Me: Sid? Po? What are you doing here?
Sid: We getting tied up!
Po: Should we get out of here, or not? You know, the Awesome kung fu styles like Skadoosh! or something. Now if you listen to me, Would you untie me and her?
Me: Okay then. I'll untie you. (tries to unties them)
Sid: (nervously) Don't whatever I am! What I do is, For 20th centuries! That should concentrate he's a villain. I probably tied!
Po: No no, Sid. We're friends.
Sid: Friends? I like friends, geez.
Po: We've couldn't get killed!
Sid: (sadful) I disobeyed by his uncles and recures! Why? Does anyone love me?
Po: It hasn't don't look good.
Sid: It hasn't don't look good?! As we only to be say: All I want is true love. Is that too much to ask? But there's a sharks in the underwater!
(Camera switches to the Sharks in underwater of a wooden dam.)
Deniece Shark: Okay boys, settle down a little bit, Keep it down there, Giddyup, a little bit more, straight out, straight out, Come on. This is the Important message; We have some scuba divers approaching, Now you know the drill, Everyone to the position, okay? 2, 3, 4.
Shark #1: (humming) Daduh...
Shark #2: Daduh..
Shark #3: Daduh.
Shark #4: Daduh.
Sharks: Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh.... (dumming and pumming in "JAWS" theme)
Shark #5: Threla!
Deniece Shark: Attaboys, don't yourself to giving up to!
Shark #5: Threla!
Deniece: Aren't you give it self to beings itself? Man, I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT, You scaring me up to much as are! I'd really love this one! I'd really! (The sharks ends pumming) Paul! Did you eat the fish?
Shark #7 (Paul): (Mouth full) Mmhh?
Deniece: Did you eat the fish?
Fish: (Speaking from Paul's mouth) In despicable for every time of me, as we should never eats the fish.
(Paul spits the fish out, covered the mucus)
Fish: (Slimed) Yeech. Not time at all. Well thanks a lot, stupid shark. Now I'm so wetty, What an dispatcher.
Fish: I think you're stupid.
Paul: Stupid??? I am not stupid!
Fish: Yes, you're stupid.
Paul: I am not!
Fish: You are too!
Paul: (furious) Why you little, Come here!
Fish: Eep! (swimming from the sharks) You're never take me alive!
Paul: Who's the shark?!
Fish: You are! You are!
(Cut to Timon)
Timon: (snidely) Beyond what you see... beyond what you-- (turns toward the camera, shudders) Uhh-h. Hey, how am I supposed to look beyond what I see, beyond this? Or that? Or even know that she is this again? (Camera reveals he's looking straight at Pumbaa's butt)
Pumbaa: Huh? Oh, sorry.
(Pumbaa moves aside to reveal the Bungo Valley.)
Timon: That's it, That's right there, It's Bungo Valley.
Pumbaa: Sure we can go there?
Timon: I think it's not!
Mammoth Me: (walks in) Hey guys, what are you doing you two?
Timon: Jeepers! It's you again, Mammoth-ol-pal. I think what if beyond what he sees, I see Bungo Valley, I know that!
Mammoth Me: Ya think a valley and the wooden dam with bunch of water?
Timon: A wooden dam? With water? Well, come on, Let's go, Pumbaa.
Mammoth Me: (Follows Timon and Pumbaa) Stay close, I'll come to you.
Timon: Oh, Hakuna Matata indeed you so.
Mammoth Me: Harpoon Tomato?
Pumbaa: Hakuna Matata! It means no worries.
(The echoing of "worries" several times in the valley.)
(Camera switches back to Sid & Po)
Sid: (singing) Dreams, dreams will never die...
Po: Can you stop it, already?
Sid: Oh, I singing for these times.
K.O.: (tries to untie them) It's just a little bit untie you all, Okay?
Sid: Yes she is! Now let me out of here but I hate this place!
K.O.: (after unties at Sid & Po) There.
Sid: Oh, thank sloths.
Po: Maybe I wasn't do this.
Me: It's only that biggest problems that we don't had.
(Camera switches to Rusky & Buffy, as the fish in the underwater to far away of Bungo Dam)
Rusky: Let's hope they don't know we came millions of fishes and sharks without bringing any foods.
Buffy: And who's fault is that?
Rusky: Bite me, fish face!
Buffy: Oh, calm down, it's not like they have a large supply of--
Rusky & Buffy: SMALL ROCK!
Buffy: Darn it!
Rusky: Who would've thought the atlantis with so many small rocks would have pebbles?!?!
Buffy: Okay, okay, try the other left! They couldn't POSSIBLY have enough to block two--
Rusky & Buffy: BIG ROCK!
Rusky: Oh, come on!
Buffy: I can't believe we didn't prepare for this!
Rusky: Hold on, I'm gonna try and swim into it!
Buffy: I don't think that's gonna work.
Rusky: Stop judging my ideas.
Buffy: But this is the movie, you fish brat! Stop telling me before what it cares to be done!
Rusky & Buffy: (sees Fish arrives)
Fish: Oh, thank fishes.
Rusky: What happened?
Fish: I think Sharks is going to kill me, at nearing.
Buffy: This, looks not good.
Deniece: (offscreen) Get him, boys!
Fish: I heard it coming, I heard it coming! (The other sharks goes to swim at them)
Shark #1: I got it, I got it, Me got it, ME GOT IT! AAAA-AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
Buffy: No! No! No! No!
(Camera switches to Emmet Brickowski)
Me: (A thud is heard, and the wood starts a little bit of crack) Huh?
Po: What was that?
Sid: Sharks? SHARKS!? What are they doing down here?
Skipper: We're going to the wide-open spaces of Antarctica, To the wild.
Skipper: You didn't see anything.
Me: Well, yeah.
Sid: Po, we gotta get out of this place.
Po: (grabs Sid) Let's go, and l'm out of here.
Sid: Wa-wa-wa-wa-wait! Po, put me down! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't go out there!
K.O.: Hey, tubby, stop! Hey, this ain't a load-bearing structure!
(Po steps, A crack occur the ground and the wood starts cracking to releasing the water, While Emmet & K.O. notices that the Bungo Dam is cracked)
K.O.: Uh, You're gonna need a bigger dam.
Me: (grabs a surfboard, and gives surfboard to K.O.) Smooth surfing, K.O.?
K.O.: ...Not really at all....! (screaming)
(A Bungo Dam break to bursts in)
(Camera switches to Timon, Mammoth Emmet & Pumbaa)
Timon: (trudging along the shattered rock floor of the Bungo Valley) What this place lacks in no water and shade, it makes up for with no searing heat and no blinding sunshine. We're in Bungo Valley, Pumbaa! (whimpers a little with desperation, just as the ground begins to rumble)
Seagulls: (flies by) Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!
Mammoth Me: Oh, look. Seagulls.
(As the water floods acrosses into Bungo Valley, At the reason, Dramatic multi-layer camera pull up to Mammoth Emmet's terrified face, They rapidly approach Mammoth Emmet, Timon and Pumbaa in a flood)
Mammoth Me: (nervous) Um, guys.. I think we should get out of here.
Pumbaa: (affecting a gracious, leisurely air) Shall we run for our lives?
Timon: (affecting the same air) Oh, yes, let's.
(They both scream and take off running in front of the huge water of flood who avoiding falling rocks and falling piece of woods, While, Emmet and K.O. is surfing into a flood)
Me: Holy macaroni! I see Timon!
Me: (Gestures at Timon and Pumbaa) Over there!
K.O.: We have to save him!
(Camera switches to Afolabi, as a lion cub)
Afolabi: (After eating a meat, and belches) Oh, And that's the sign that the tank is full. I can do this. Beyond this intersection, is just another intersection. and another, and another. On the other hand... I wonder if there's any meatloaf left in the cave? No, now is not the time for a plate of meat. Now is the time for a plate of....
(At the point, by a low rumble. Afolabi looks down and sees pebbles jumping.)
Afolabi: ...Surf mountain? Wait a minute.... SURF MOUNTAIN?!
(We see the flood coming over approach distant. More dramatic multi-layer camera pull up to Afolabi's terrified face, Afolabi takes off in front of the flood)
Afolabi: Not good, not good, not good! I've got to get out of here!
(Camera switch to Lion Emmet, Pedro and Nico a short distance from the canyon)
Pedro: Ooh my. (excited) They getting excited for "Emmet's Hercules" movie!
Nico: That does right, Pedro, Now where did this guy go?
Pedro: (Seeing Emmet & K.O. surfing in flood.) Hey-- There he goes! There he goes!
Lion Me: What? What is it?
Pedro: The dam bursts them open, Did you see what she mean?
Lion Me: Very odd, too... (Lion Kishu runs up, out of breath)
Kishu: Emmet. Quick. Flood. In the gorge valley. Afolabi's down there!
Lion Me: Afolabi?
(Camera switch to Afolabi, He is running and climbs up a dead tree)
Afolabi: I hate when this happens!
("Surf Mountain" scene is work in progress.)
Buffy: Told you, fluffer.
Rusky: Bite me, wormy.
Rusky: Dude, are you serious right now?
Buffy: Stop ignoring us!
Rusky: No one cares about, Mandrocks.
Buffy: Look out... Darn it!
Rusky: We are so gonna slap you for monologueing over our denied!
Buffy: We're dangerous, we swear.
Rusky: They're still going!
Buffy: Are we really so non-threatening?
Rusky: That's it, you're all getting accident!
Buffy: Oh boy....
K.O.: Emmet, what are you doing? You’re letting her get away from the dark born.
Me: Yeah? So what?
K.O.: Emmet, there’s something about her you don’t know. Look, I talked to her last night, She’s--
Me: I know you talked to her last night. You’re great pals, aren’t ya? Now, if you two are such good friends, why don’t you follow her home?!
K.O.: Emmet, I - - I wanna go with you.
Me: Hey, I told you, didn’t I? You’re not coming home with me. I live alone! My house! Me! Nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, kid!
K.O.: But I thought--
Me: Yeah. You know what? You thought wrong! (stomps off)
(Dissolves to Abandoned village, when Emmet arriving in)
Me: Lost anything, lost.
("Emmet's Lost" scene is work in progress.)
("Sir Pentious' Airship" scene is work in progress.)
("Emmet VS Chrysocolla/Fall In Love" scene is work in progress.)
(Back to Hercules, once more)
(Meanwhile, Titan 5 looks for Hercules, causing destruction in Thebes)
Cyclops: Hercules! Where are you? I want it to BEAT everyone out, you big bunga!
Tall woman: What can we do?
Fat man: Where's Hercules?
Old man: Yeah, Hercules'll save us.
Cyclops: Hercules! Come out! Face me! Heeere kitty kitty kitty kitty!
Megara: (to Hercules who starts going) What are you doing? Without your strength, you'll be killed.
Hercules: There are worse things.
Cyclops: I'm a big baby you slob!
Megara: Wait! Stop!
Strong Man: Hey, look! It's Hercules.
Heavy Woman: Thank the gods, we're saved!
Cyclops: (Dancing like King Julien) I like to move it, move it, I like to move it, move it, I like to move it, move it, Ya like to... MOVE IT!
(He hits Hercules who flies away and hits a mosaic of himself. Meanwhile Megara finds Pegasus tied up in the stables)
Megara: Easy, horsefeathers. Whoa! Stop twitching, listen. Ah! Hercules is in trouble. We gotta find Phil, he's the only one who can talk some sense into him.
Me: (runs in) There's gotta be somewhere in here! (Seeing K.O. approaching at Emmet)
Me: I don't care. I want it out of my Iife, gone for good. Everything is not back to normal.
Megara: Hey, remember when that dark fortress stuff at the desertland?
Me: Everybody thought it was from space and stuff?
K.O.: And it just turned out to be frozen pee from a jet airplane.
Me: Yeah, that's right. It's frozen pee.
Shruck: Yeah. It's frozen pee. Pee, pee, pee, pee pee.
Me: Could you stop saying that?
Shruck: What? Pee?
Me: Piddle? Wee-wee?
Me: OK, subject change.
Shruck: ....Make pishee?
Me: I don't care what it is!
(Meanwhile on Olympus, battle between Zeus and the Titans goes on)
Zeus: Get back, blast you!
(Lythos smashes the gates of Olympus open)
Hades: (Scrat is attacking him) AHHRRGGG!!!! GET IT OFF!!! I CAN'T GET IT OFF!!!
(Phil is going to leave Thebes and is walking to a boat)
Sailor: Come on! Hurry up! We're shovin' off here!
Me: (offscreen) Are you gonna help me get rid of it or not?
Megara: Phil! Phil, Hercules needs your help!
Phil: What does he need me for when he's got friends like you?
Megara: He won't listen to me.
Phil: Good! He's finally learned something.
Megara: Look, I know what I did was wrong, but this isn't about me, it's about him. If you don't help him now, Phil, he'll die!
Me: I heard that!
Yakko & Wakko: We are Warner Brothers!
Dot: And we're Warner Sisters!
Me: Glad to seeing you, pals. They think Hercules is fighting Cyclops.
Yakko: Cyclops? That was quite awful.
Me: Yeesh, I didn't do it.
Zeus: I need more thunderbolts!
Hermes: Uh, Hephaestus has been captured, my Lord. Everyone's been captured, yah! (Pain and Panic get him) I've been captured! Hey, hey! Watch the glasses. Don't do anything, okay!? DON'T DO ANYTHING!
(Pyros and Hydros make a mountain of ice and fire with Zeus on top)
Hades: (After is getting attacked by Scrat) Zeusy, I'm.... (collapses) ..Home. ow.
Zeus: Hades, you're behind this!
Hades: It hurts on my back, It's too much.
(In Bungo Valley)
Gurgle: (Getting waking up, stuck on a tree, at mid-air to the edge of an long waterfall, He shocked) Eep! (echoing, as the camera switches in far shot) Who put trees in middle of an rock valley!?
Byker: (Tiger sound, holding Gurgle's legs) Rwwwrrr!
(Chunko goes falling past them helplessly, shrieking)
(Thebes, Cyclops tosses Hercules and plays with him)
Phil: Come on, kid, come on. Fight back. Come on, you can take this bum, This guy's a pushover, look at him!
Hercules: You were right all along, Phil. Dreams are for rookies.
Phil: No, no, no, no, kid, givin' up is for rookies. I came back 'cause I'm not quittin' on ya. I'm willing to go the distance, how 'bout you?
Hercules: (Beat, He starts bursts to laugh) You're never there for me!
Hercules: Okay, that's not what I had in mind.
(Cyclops grabs Hercules)
Cyclops: Me bite off head!
(Hercules burns the Cyclops' face with a burning stick)
Cyclops: My royal-tee body!!!!
Phil: Whoa, baby!
(while Cyclops is yelling, Hercules ties up his legs and Cyclops falls off a cliff. His fall make a quake, from which a pillar starts falling on Hercules)
Megara: Hercules! Look out!
(She pushes him out from the pillar's way and is struck by the pillar)
Hercules: Oh, come on, Meg, That's not what I meant! You deadly titan maniacs! You struck it up! God, damn you! Damn you all to hell!!!
Me: (To Hercules) Um, Herc? You forgot "Planet of the Apes" quote.
Hercules: (Beat, sarcastically) Oh. You can stay here, Emmet. I'll be there in a moment! (Hercules raises the pillar, getting the strength back) What's happening?
Megara: H-Hades' deal is broken. He promised I wouldn't get hurt.
Hercules: Meg. Why, why did you-- you didn't have to—
Megara: Oh. People always do crazy things... when they're in love.
Hercules: Oh, Meg. Meg, I-- I—
Megara: Are you... always this articulate? You, you haven't got much time. You can still stop Hades.
Phil: I'll watch over her, kid.
Hercules: You're gonna be all right. I promise. Emmet, if you want to defeat Tilus Struman without no respect, I'll be watching you! Let's go Pegasus!
Me: Okay, Hercules, I'll come over in you! If you never stay alive, I will find you!
Lucy: (runs over to Emmet)
("Emmet Found Lucy" scene is work in progress.)
("Back to another Hercules" scene is work in progress.)
("Emmet VS Tilus Struman" final scene is work in progress.)
(We're work in progress now!)
(Emmet's Hercules logo is shown, while it fades out, And then the next morning, Chump wakes up to find the Crikey trying to get him up)
Crikey: (last lines) Hey. Hey, get up. Hey, come on, buddy. If you never listen to me, just get up. Come on, pal.
Chump: (After recovering) Oh, man. My head. (He looks drunk)
Crikey: Listen to me. It's 7 in the morning. Go scrape up that goat and get going.
Chump: The goat? (Seeing a goat)
Chump: Frunkie. It hopes really really really really dishonored on them. (Then realizes something) Wait, you said 7:05. I'm late for do nothing. Vanity Karess is gonna be... (Disgustedly) Who was I dealt with this!? He's gonna kissed my lips! What I do not, Except the internets are doin' crazy! Cuz' that's what time of it.
(The credits begin rolling as "If I Didn't Have You", "Ice Ice Baby," "Bad", "What Is Love" and "Hero" play)
(The silhouette of Leonard (as a Cat) and Jacob (as a Dog) in theater seats appears)
Leonard: I think that went very well, don't you?
Jacob: Um, Actually, I think--
Leonard: (irritated) I did not ask you what you think!
Jacob: Actually, you did. I--
Leonard: (getting furious) No! It was a rhetorical question! Don't you know what a rhetorical question is?
Jacob: Yes, pal. I believe it's--
Leonard: No, No! That was a rhetorical question, too! Ugh! I gotta see "Emmet's Tarzan".
(Jacob cracks his neck one way and then the other, grunting. As Leonard clatters off-screen, Jacob scratches in his ear, and sniffs.)
Jacob: Wait, where you going? (He runs off-screen, too.)
Evil Zane: (pops up in theater seats) May the fittest survive.
Rusky & Buffy: (offscreen) ROCKS!
Evil Zane: (runs off-screen)
(Sound of Evil Zane beating Rusky & Buffy)
Rusky: (offscreen) We really suck at this!
(The "Warner Bros. Pictures" logo appears, spins to "Warner Animation Group" logo. Suddenly the film is grabbed "off the projector", Emmet lifts it up and looks at the audience.)
Me: Made to you look.
(Drops the film back to normal and fades out.)
Mid-credits (If I Didn't Have You)
Bramm: (walking across the screen) You know this means you'll be up again about two hours from now. (He catches the football) Wait, what's this? A football, or something?!
Gruss: (offscreen, wearing in football hiker suit) There he is! Get 'em!
(Bramm run off screaming to lead some of the footballers away)
Sid: (running across the screen, right to left) Just don't break anything!
Second mid-credits (Ice Ice Baby)
Me: (appears, dancing)
Tim Minion: (offscreen, in 5 minutes) Natew!
Minions: (runs to Emmet and dances)
Third mid-credits (Bad)
Fright: (as the Vykker, walking in the screen) All right, buddy. There's two kinds of vykkers on this credits. Those who like the movie at the loose without strike, and those who don't like Emmet's Hercules movie. (to the other vykkers) Which are you, boys? (Charlie comes behind him and drawing his butt who reads: "KICK ME!", as Charlie giggled, then sneaking to the left)
Fear: (as the Vykker, offscreen) I just would've liked to have seen him more in character.
Fright: You'd.. I.. Dh.. (getting furious) Rrrrahhhh!!! Why you stupid little, come here! (rushes off to the right, attacks him)
Fear: (offscreen) The movie cameo was pointless! The LEGO Movie bit got old in 2014! It just... wasn't... funny!
Charlie: (bursts to laugh in the offscreen) That was funny...
Fourth mid-credits (What Is Love)
(Emmet, Lucy, Samuel, Ed, Black Hat, Betilla, Vanity Karess, Deforrest, Jayjay, Queen Slay, Sid, Po, Timon and Pumbaa are walking in a conga line to the song)
Samuel: What is love, oh, sorry! (He catches up with Emmet) Excuse me.
Me: Have you been a good day for?
Ed: Yes, I do!
Vanity Karess: This dance is so the next month.
Deforrest: As I do see what I can do, not.
Jayjay: This is gonna be the best conga line I've ever seen! I'll show you at my favourite big buddies. I want my best buddy when the gorillas in my fur dries.
Queen Slay: This whole thing is getting old.
Jayjay: You know what I could go for? Big party, but keep dreamin'!
Fifth mid-credits (Hero)
Bramm: (walking left to right with Stacy Smith, He is exhausted) We're gonna get old walking across this thing.
Stacy: (to Bramm) Oh, darling, don't be sad.
After the credits
Smidgeen: (flies up on a screen, winks at the audience with a "DING" sound)